Before I share this with you, allow me to clarify a few things – I do not, by any means, have an issue with the shipping of two male characters, the concept of male homosexual relations, or anything of the sort. This article will merely explore the potential damage in the consistent and persistent use of male shipping, and what it means for the male heterosexual and male LGBTQ community.
Gay shipping is great. It’s an amazing way to make friends, explore characters, enjoy a TV show, feel represented and create writing or art. However, despite all these positives, it presents large, often ignored or unnoticed problems in society.
If a person has a few pairings which they approach with enthusiasm, that’s fine. It’s great. Good for them. The issue actually stems from people shipping every single pair of men with a platonic bond. Here’s why:
It contributes to the concept of hyper-masculinity.
The dictionary definition of hyper-masculinity is as follows: ‘Hyper-masculinity is a psychological term for the exaggeration of male stereotypical behaviour, such as an emphasis on physical strength, aggression, and sexuality.’ This translates to the invalidation of men who do not conform to stereotypical depictions of ‘masculinity’ which every man, according to much of society, should solidly have. When a person or multiple people imply or directly say that any two men who have a platonic bond are romantically or sexually attracted to each other, it suggests the idea that two men cannot actually have a solid, meaningful or trusting friendship without it being assumed that they’re ‘in love with each other’, or something of the sort. The consequence of this is that many men could possibly feel pressured to hide or eliminate any steady or comforting platonic relationship they have with another man, because men are allegedly cracked up to be ‘too masculine’ to have an emotional bond with someone they aren’t romantically attached to.
Often, ‘shippers’ erase male characters’ potential bi or pansexuality.
If you log onto Tumblr and type the words ‘bi/pansexuality isn’t real’ and hit ‘post’, there’s no doubt that you will immediately encounter dozens of people combating your statement, due to the fact that they know those sexualities are valid. However, later that day, those same people will watch a film or TV show and ship two males who have probably had previous relations with genders other than male, most typically women. Everything is fine until these ‘shippers’ will go on to denote that the male person ‘never fancied/loved/enjoyed having relations with [this woman/these women] because they like [this man]’. While a minority of people will have relations with a particular gender and later regret it or not enjoy it, the majority of the time, the very same people who will advocate for sexuality being a spectrum will invalidate a man liking one gender because they theorise (not know for certain – theorise) that this man likes one or multiple persons of their own gender. This is, first of all, downright hypocritical. Second, it actually erases bi and pansexual people. Another reason why it’s harmful is men could be encouraged, if accidentally, to think that they have to ‘make up their minds’ or that it is unacceptable for them to label themselves as bi or pansexual or have relations with more than one gender and enjoy it.
It ‘normalises’ the idea of fetishising homosexual relations.
In many situations this is not the case, but with some people or ‘ships’, it does actually put homosexual relations/tension on a pedestal, idealises or idolises it. Again, there is absolutely no problem with male homosexual relations, but it’s as unhealthy as when males fetishise female homosexual activity (e.g. ‘lesbian porn’ obviously created for heterosexual men, or comments to the effect of ‘oh, you’re a lesbian? Can I watch?’). LGBTQ people are, surprise, surprise, normal people, too. It’s blatantly strange and bothersome, to say the least, to actually refuse the idea of heterosexual relationships and to only accept gay ones. Many people in ‘fandoms’ refuse to ‘ship’ heterosexual ships because they think they’re above it, and choose their ships based on gender, not chemistry. All art and entertainment is open to interpretation, but it is often the case that people will ship two men just to support the idea that they could be gay, not because the two people have legitimate chemistry. It further separates LGBTQ people from the rest of society, who just want their relationships to be considered normal like they truly are, not better or worse than anyone else’s relationships…
All in all, take care when you’re shipping male characters with one another – knock yourself out, but be careful of bi/pan erasure, hypermasculinity and fetishizing/superiority complexes within yourself or others in your fandom. It isn’t just harmful for the LGBTQ community – it’s harmful for heterosexual, men, too. It’s harmful for men as a whole.
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