Finding confidence in your hair is difficult, especially when society seems pitted against you. Straight silky hair is the subject of most books, commercials, TV shows, and movies. The media fell in love with straight hair, and we weren’t even given a chance; this love is portrayed across nearly every platform in not-so-subtle ways. Straight hair is viewed as the ideal beauty, even in the black community. We see this in the way that most black celebrities opt for straight weaves over natural hair and further push the idea that this hairstyle is just easier to accept when appealing to the mass media.
Growing up, I was sold the concept that my hair was simply different from my fellow classmates, and often not as accepted. In the fourth grade, I eventually caved and fell into the world of permed hair. In the black community, most either love or loath the perm. But to me, it was a way out. A way to fit in, to not worry about my hair looking different and if I had to sacrifice a few pool trips or rainy days, then so be it. Although it wasn’t the ‘way out’ that I imagined it was comfortable and cute and easy and like an invisibility cloak. I became more like my peers, but as I grew I began to notice that I didn’t really like this cloak that I had grown so accustomed to. Last year, one of my classmates told me that she wished her hair was more like mine. She wished that her blonde straight hair was more like my forced permed locks. What she didn’t understand was that I did this to my hair so that it looked more like hers. The irony of that comment hit me like a brick and not long after that I decided that I didn’t want this escape anymore. With my permed hair, I received subtle criticism from the black community, and when I switched to box braids I could already see the criticism that waited for me on the other side of the spectrum.
This same criticism, which is rooted in our society, is extremely hard to escape, no matter how many times you change your hair. Black boys are told that shaved heads offer a more clean-cut look. Where cropped hairstyles are professional, dreads and cornrows are ‘thuggish’ and ‘ratchet’. As a new hair revolution begins to take place, the new generation seems to trade these stereotypes for natural hair and the perm seems to be losing its popularity as we exchange the straightening cream for weaves and elaborate extensions. However, as the standards for the ideal hair in the black community changes, natural hair begins to take the prized pedal stool at the expense of any other ‘unauthentic’ hairstyle. Natural hair is beautiful, but to appreciate its beauty, we don’t have to stomp on other black hairstyles. We, as black women, are told which hairstyles look better, which hairstyles guys prefer, which hairstyles make us look ratchet; and we’re just expected to take this unwanted feedback and criticism without any argument. The same society that goes to extreme lengths to appropriate our culture is also the first to judge us continuously on the same culture that they mimic daily.
Black hair comes in many forms and can be altered into many styles, each as beautiful as the other. There is nothing wrong with healthily wearing weave or safely adding extensions or safely perming your hair or going natural or rocking dreadlocks. Our hair is our own, and we should be able to do with it as we please, without the negative criticism and judgment. Just because some don’t agree with permed hair or intricate weaves, doesn’t enable them to judge those who find solace in these hairstyles. For hair to be such a big part of our culture, we should be able to build more acceptance and gain more confidence in not only our hair but the hair of those around us. As long as you love your own hair, well, nothing else should really matter- you do you.
