When I look in the mirror and see myself, I see a beautiful, intelligent girl who knows who she is and views the world with love- but if I were to ask people who know me what they think about me, they might call me loud or wishy-washy. Some might even say I am someone who likes to start drama. With that being said, it is time to accept my label as being an unintentional drama queen.
I can count the amount of times I have stirred the pot and the steam hits me in the face; the amount of times I have caused drama that wasn’t needed. Time after time again, I will tell myself that I have learned my lesson, but in reality, I haven’t. It is a draining and unnecessary process for the people who I have involved in my messiness, especially my friends, but myself also.
Friends have come up to me to address it, telling me their issues and how my character is also a problem. It reminded me of a quote: ‘your character is WHO YOU ARE and your reputation is WHO PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE.’
worry about your character more than your reputation. your character is who you are. your reputation is who people think you are.
— Madison Beer (@MadisonBeer) September 23, 2016
If my character is causing problems, it is time to look in the mirror and take action. I am more of a talk person than walk person; I can think of a million things to say to make things seem better, but when it comes down to it, I do nothing. I have to reflect and change, not in order to please anyone, but for myself; for my relationships with my family and friends. I can’t keep on saying and doing the same old thing and NOT expect the same result: confrontation.
A big issue that I have come across is how I may come across as ‘fake’ because I say something and switch it around the next minute. There are have been situations where I have said something and then turned around and changed my mind. That is a problem. If I say something, I have to stick with it, not flip flop on that to fit in with the crowd and please people. I think that is a symptom of being an unintentional drama queen- the reason you cause drama is because you want to fit in with everybody. You want to be everyone’s friend and that is not how it works.
You should know your friends, you should stick up for them and defend them, not agree with them to their face and then say the complete opposite behind their back. I am extremely guilty of that one.
One of my friends addressed me very recently about this whole thing. It stuck with me. The problem about being an unintentional drama queen is NOT knowing when you are causing drama, you just keep pushing the snowball and not realizing how big it’s become. It is time for me to honestly reflect; not just say I won’t do it again or I am sorry, but look at my relationships, see how my interactions are causing friction and take action and precautions to avoid the drama and the conflict.
One day, I will retire the crown but as of now, I am still an unintentional drama queen.
