Dear people who say that it’s a victim’s fault for wearing “revealing” clothes,
A few weeks ago I was reading an article written by (my favourite feminist) Rowan Blanchard. She talked about how she was catcalled when she was 12. It made me angry as well as grateful. It made me say: wow, I’m lucky that I have never been catcalled ever in my life. Boy was I wrong.
I’d forgotten about being catcalled when I was 6.
I remember walking down the street, the world being as big as ever for a small six-year-old girl, and seeing grown men who were about five times older than me at the time staring at me with obscene looks that followed the vulgar words that came from their mouths. That freaked me out.
When I came home that afternoon, I felt unsafe and dirty. I ran straight to the closest mirror which was in my helper’s room. I looked myself up and down. I saw a little girl who was wearing a black dress that had spaghetti straps and went down just half an inch above my knees. As I was a fat child, my chest was already big for my age, giving an illusion that I’d developed breasts early. I did not wear any type of bras at that age since my parents thought it would be ridiculous. I remember saying, “It’s my fault that I wore a dress. It’s too short. I should never ever wear a dress ever again.”
Seeing that flash back made me think of the times I was made to wear dresses by my mother after that. Every time I’d felt beautiful in a flowy dress there was this constant fear in my heart. A fear that would make me exchange the dress with jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I didn’t understand why it was there until today. That fear was the fear of getting catcalled. That fear was a fear of being sexually assaulted. That is something no six-year-old should ever have to experience. It’s something no twenty-something or thirty-something should experience. Something absolutely no one should experience.
So every time you say that it was a victim’s fault for wearing such short clothes, I want you to think about me. I want you to think about kids that have been victims just because they’re wearing dresses. Just because someone is wearing something that exposes their knees and/or shoulders, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to go ahead and shame them or catcall them. I am allowed to wear what ever the hell I want without feeling scared or anxious that I might get assaulted.
Teach your kids not to rape and let them know the clear line between right and wrong.
Sincerely yours,
Ruscel
