How I Accept That I Will Always Be A Poor And Disadvantaged Teen

LA Johnson/NPR

Some days, mostly everyday I wake up with a sensation of hopelessness and fear; fear for my future, my present, and my past. Wondering if things will be okay that day, because i don’t go to regular school.

I’m behind several grades (I’m sixteen and barely able to do fifth grade work).

I got held back from school when I was eight due to family issues. I was supposed to get adopted but didn’t, we got evicted from our house, my brother was in jail, physical and verbal fights happened daily, cops were always at the house, my mom had to pick up a second job and I got cut off from soccer, girl scouts,church and basically any and every social interaction I had.

A lot of things had happened and a lot of things are happening. I don’t hold a lot of hope for my future, I don’t expect a high school diploma, I don’t expect a family, I don’t expect 100% supportive and positive surroundings, I don’t expect a normal life, I mean how could I? My family gets food from food banks, our relationship isn’t even close to healthy,our house is falling apart and I recently got over a drug addiction. My mental health is worse than ever, I don’t see help in the near future.

When you think of disadvantaged youth and abused kids you automatically assume you can call child protective services and they’ll take care of the problem right? Well that is what happened when i was younger, I got put into the system. I got fostered by a wonderful family who I felt loved me, but then a couple years later my parents won custody back again. It’s just now, they won’t take care of the problem.

Myself and others have made reports to CPS (child protective services) and authorities but they won’t do anything. It could be because my parents were in law enforcement, or it could be because they aren’t doing their job properly. I’m not the only one in this type of situation, it takes a lot to reach out for help and when you don’t receive help, it makes you feel hopeless and invalid. I get denied education, healthcare services, proper relationships, appropriate clothes,safe sheltering, and many other basic human rights.

 Other teens wake up and think of their school day or their friends,I wake up and think “is waking up even worth it anymore?” It isn’t a nice feeling, I feel trapped.

The worst part is nobody suspects it or knows. In public their families can act completely normal and even look normal, emotional abuse is easier to hide, and physical abuse is still pretty easy to hide and lie about. If a child or teen seems timid and uncomfortable when their caregiver is affectionate in public, it might be because they aren’t affectionate at home. Other times it can be more noticeable, the parents can humiliate the child in public, hit the child, insult the child, abuse isn’t funny abuse isn’t comedic.

It has real life consequences. It can affect someone and their life for the rest of their life. Its a stressful thing and if you suspect or know about abuse in any form of relationship or abuse in any form (financial abuse, physical, emotional) call. Keep calling until something gets done.
Be supportive and there for whoever it is you know, because it isn’t easy to be understood or heard.



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