Two weeks ago, I came out as bisexual. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, but it wasn’t my family or my real-life friends who I told, it was my Twitter followers. So, if I happen to know you personally and I haven’t come out to you, then I’m sorry but consider this my official coming out announcement.
Why did I tell over a thousand strangers instead of the people in my life who probably should know about this? Truthfully, I don’t know. My parents suspect that I’m interested in girls and have told me time and time again that if that was the case, they wouldn’t care, but I’m attracted to both males and females and I have no idea if their reactions would be any different. Would they understand?
Besides, they don’t need to know unless I bring a girl home, right? If that day comes then great, if not, for all I’m concerned they can remain in the dark and hope that I find someone decent to introduce them to.
What’s ironic about this situation is that when I realized I was bi, they were in the same room as me and I burst into tears. They asked me what was wrong, I cried harder, and my Dad said “maybe it’s just this episode of Grey’s that’s getting to her.” I rolled with it.
I’m known within my family and friendship circles to cry at the slightest thing and Grey’s Anatomy was the current contributor, but something much more significant was happening to me: a fictional character had just made me realize my sexuality.
Arizona Robbins had been open about her sexuality from her first moments on the show, and her girlfriend, Callie Torres, had previously been questioning her own sexuality and had come to the conclusion that she was bisexual (side note, Callie’s ex-girlfriend told her she wasn’t allowed to be attracted to both men and women).
I’ve witnessed similar storylines and been introduced to LGBTQ characters before, but there was something about Arizona. I couldn’t put my finger on it and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was attracted to Arizona Robbins (well, the actress who plays her), and that combined with her dating a bisexual woman completely overwhelmed me and I was left with the fact that I was one of them.
Allow me to make something very clear: Arizona and Callie did not make me bisexual. I already was bisexual, I just didn’t figure it out until their storyline was presented to me.
This is not a Ruby Rose situation with girls across the globe stating “I’d turn gay for Ruby Rose” or “Ruby Rose made me Gay.” Sure, if your attraction to someone of the same sex allows you to come to the conclusion that you are in fact attracted to a specific gender, then great! Just don’t go thinking that someone else has the ability to “make” or “turn” you gay. It doesn’t work like that (this is coming from a girl who began to question everything following Ruby’s entrance to Orange Is The New Black).
If I’m being totally honest, I have no idea if my coming out story is socially acceptable but I can’t help that because it’s what happened. I know there will be people out there who will hate me for writing this, and I get it. A lot of people have it way harder than I do, and I’ve only been questioning this for a few years while others have been confused for their entire lives, but it’s the truth and I think it’s important to be open about these things.
Please note that I’m new to this, I’m trying to work out what’s acceptable to say and what’s not and I’m doing my best not to offend anyone. If I say something wrong, or if you come across someone else being unintentionally offensive, educate us!
Thinking back, I guess my childhood crush on Maia Mitchell makes sense now.
