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“My Lips Are Sealed” Has Just Adopted A Whole New Meaning

As someone who experiences having regular monthly periods, I always love finding new ways to manage that time of the month. Most of the time these new methods are nothing too out of the box, however, there is one new feminine hygiene product, soon to be out on the market, that has left me completely speechless.

A Kansas-based chiropractic doctor named, Daniel Dopps, has recently started developing a new, highly problematic and potentially dangerous, feminine hygiene product that he believes to be revolutionary. It is called, Mensez (sounds an awful lot like ‘men says’, if you ask me) and it is marketed as a, quote/unquote, Feminine Lipstick. What this product is essentially said to do is glue the labia majora together to retain menstrual fluids inside of the vagina.

I know what you are thinking, “UM WHAT?!”, because that is exactly what I thought when I read about this as well. Not only is this product misogynistic, but it also has some conceptual flaws that could prove to be dangerous to the user. First, Dopps claims that the enzymes in urine will loosen the glue’s bonds. The problem with this is that not all urine compounds contain the same enzymes. What if your urine does not have the proper enzymes to cause the glue to break down? Likely, an embarrassing visit to the emergency room! Alongside that, another problem with this product is that the labia moves as you walk, sit, and perform other various day-to-day activities. What if you move too abruptly? You could tear the very delicate skin that you have previously glued together! Ouch! It does not sound fun to have to sit on that for the next few days. Another very obvious flaw with this product, and the last one I am going to touch base on, is the expectation that the user’s vagina is dolphin smooth. Not everyone grooms their pubic hair and as we have most likely all experienced at one time or another, glue tugging at hair is most definitely not a pleasant sensation.

My final point in this discussion is that Dr. Daniel Dopps is misogynistic. He used the term, “Diapers” in place of sanitary napkins/pads and the term, ‘“Plugs” in place of tampons. The use of the word diaper in place of sanitary napkin or pad indicates that those who use pads are merely big babies. He also claims that periods are distracting and limit people experiencing menstruation when it comes to being able to function to their full potential. While this might be true, it is not for the reason of vaginal bleeding as he seems to believe. It is more commonly due to the muscle cramping and abdominal pain experienced during our cycle. With that being said, gluing our vaginas shut is not going to benefit anyone. If anything, it will most likely cause even more discomfort. Between the increased cramping due to menstrual fluid being over-capacity in the vagina and the constant tugging at your delicate labia skin, this will just cause more physical stress for an already stressful time.

To round things out, my advice to Mr. Dopps would be to stick to what you know and stay away from feminine hygiene. The best advice I can give to anyone who is thinking of trying this product when it is released is don’t. Stick to safe and effective methods of managing menstrual periods such as; tampons, pads, period panties, and menstrual cups. Maybe one day someone will invent a product that can safely halt periods on your command, but until then, happy bleeding!

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