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For the Hundredth Time, She Wasn’t Asking For It

It’s 2017. Back when I was little, I thought there’d be flying cars and robots and crazy new inventions by now. Instead, it seems as if we’ve traveled back in time and recreated a whole new era of misogyny and sexism.

It’s 2017, and women still don’t seem to have equal rights.

It’s 2017, and people still have the audacity to make ridiculous assumptions about us.

Dear society, she wasn’t asking for it. She wasn’t asking for any of this.

Statistics suggest that 1 out of every 6 American women has experienced either attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. Millions have become victims of it, and millions more have become victims of daily sexual harassment. It is not uncommon for a woman to walk down the street and receive catcalls, inappropriate comments, and vulgar gestures. A survey of 2,000 Americans concluded that 65% of women had experienced street harassment. Another study by the American Association of University Women reported that 62% of female students were harassed at college. What’s incredibly upsetting is that several of these crimes don’t even get reported (especially those that occur in small villages or towns in other parts of the world), so there’s no way any of us can truly understand just how widespread and prevalent this issue is.

As alarming as these statistics are, what baffles me the most is the justifications some people try to make regarding them. “She’s dressed like that, so she must be asking for it.”

A woman was most definitely not asking for the harassments and assaults directed toward her. She most definitely was not asking for the lewd comments and gestures. And she most definitely was not asking to be raped.

It bewilders me that people try to justify these unforgivable actions–as if a woman’s clothing has anything to do with the sick crimes she becomes a victim of. There is no justification for assault. Blame the rapist, the assaulter, the criminal–not the victim.

Although this has been clarified time and time again, it needs to be repeated until it is permanently engraved in the minds of people around the world. Women can dress, act, and do whatever they want without your consent. We didn’t ask for your opinion, and we certainly did not ask for your approval. It doesn’t matter how she was dressed, where she was at, or what she was doing. She does not deserve to be blamed. She wasn’t asking for it.

Frankly, she wasn’t asking for your opinion at all.

She wasn’t asking for your comments on her choice of clothing. If she wants to dress up? Great. She’s allowed to look good for herself. If she wants to dress down? Also great. She’s allowed to be comfortable if she pleases.

In fact, she wasn’t asking for your comments on anything. If she wears make-up? Great. If she likes to keep it natural? Also great. She’s skinny? Alright. She has jiggly thighs? Amazing. She’s confident? Fantastic. She’s shy? That’s okay. She’s tall? Good. She’s short? Also good. She’s white? Awesome. She’s a POC? Brilliant. We are all beautiful.

Despite it being the 21st century, some people still can’t let go of their double standards toward women; some people still find it necessary to critique a woman for the simplest of things. These words and actions can have a tremendous impact on one’s self-esteem (and even one’s mental health). According to a survey of UK girls, 36% of girls aged 7 to 10 said that “people make them think that the most important thing about them is how they look.” One girl confessed, “People at school talked about me having spots and called me ugly. It made me feel less confident.”

What satisfaction would you receive from making people feel bad about themselves? Why would you deliberately hurt someone’s feelings? How could you be okay with someone crying themselves to sleep at night because of you?

Stop treating women like trash. Stop pointing fingers at us. We weren’t born to be judged our entire lives. We weren’t born to impress you.

In case it still isn’t blatantly obvious, say it louder for the people in the back: she wasn’t asking for it and she won’t ever be asking for it in the future either.

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