Pansexual: not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.
Coming out isn’t easy for anyone, by any means, but it’s even less easy for those who don’t plan it. The following interview exemplifies just that.
“So I came out in the summer to my friends and brother only. He’s already gay and came out to me when I was like 14, I’m 18 now. I didn’t come out to my family until they went through my phone and saw me talking to a guy.”
Hannah (that’s me!): So was there a defining moment when you could look back and say that you knew? Or was it more of a gradual thing?
Matty: I’d say gradual. Mainly because I always knew I liked all genders. But I sort of hid the attraction to boys that I had because my brother’s coming out experience at 14 was so bad. So I completely blocked it out until like a few years ago; then I started learning more about gender, pansexuality, and gender being a social construct in the first place. It sort of helped me accept that I liked boys and that it’s ok.
H: So when your brother came out and his experience was so bad, could you say that it scared you away from ever wanting to come out? And that educating yourself made you more confident in your sexuality?
Matty: Absolutely.
H: Now that some time has passed since you’ve realized you’re pan, could you say that you’re most confident now? Are you fully out?
Matty: I’m a lot more confident now in the way I talk about boys in a romantic way, as well as girls which is a weird new concept but I’m really happy with it. I am fully out. I don’t, like, tell everyone I know, but if anyone asks then I answer that I’m pan. That usually takes a while to explain.
H: Do you have any advice for those who are struggling with the basic socially constructed gender roles or are in doubt about their sexualities?
Matty: My advice for those is to simply educate themselves, either online or to talk with people who have gone through similar situations. If you have any “doubts” about your sexuality, you’re probably not 100% straight which is TOTALLY NORMAL AND COOL. Attractions can’t be controlled, they are natural and beautiful. Just remember that it will be a little rough accepting that because of stupid society roles, but find people either online or where you are (if you’re lucky) to help you accept and eventually love your sexuality like I do.
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