So You Want To Date In High School?

In this day and age, when is dating ok?

In the past, going out when you were in middle school was seen as acceptable – I have met a multitude of adults who have stated that they started dating at the age of 13, with little to no resentment from their parents. These days, however, dating has been encouraged to start later. Kids (specifically girls) are told to focus more on their studies, to postpone dating until they are in the junior/senior years. In some cases, teens are told that they can only begin dating in college.

On Twitter, I posted a survey. The question this poll asked was what age do you feel kids should start dating. Of 158 votes, 44% voted that 14-15 was an appropriate time for getting romantically involved with someone. 16-17 was a close second (38%), with 12-13 following (15%), and 18+ coming last (3%).

Personally, I agree with the majority of voters on this poll – kids SHOULD be allowed to date. However, what happens when they start dating too early?

A study at the University of Georgia showed that dating as a teenager does have dramatic consequences. Kids who date at an early age use drugs and alcohol more, drop out of school more, and have sex earlier than those who hold off until later. In addition to these, young lovers are at an increased exposure to dating violence – which leads to depression and other forms of emotional trauma. So, with all this being said, is dating at the age of 14-15 acceptable?

Well, it depends on the person. Some people are not mentally ready to put themselves through a relationship, but some people are. Again, people are different.

Kids are still developing as teenagers, and the raging influxes of puberty serve more destruction than creation in terms of high school relationships. Even then, it’s safe to say that dating in high school isn’t completely dangerous but, as a person, you must know your limits. If a partner pressures you into anything you are not comfortable with, if they don’t treat you with respect… get out of the relationship. It’s better to be single and rocking it than taken and unhappy.

Now, loving someone takes a lot of energy. Being in an active relationship can and will take a toll. Teenagers will almost always have to siphon time from their studies and friends and use it on their partner. If you find yourself in a position where you can’t balance everything at once (it’s hard!), don’t fret. Try putting your relationship in a hiatus – it’s not quite breaking up, but it’s a simple period of relaxation for you to get your life in order.

In addition to other tasks taking attention from your partner, there is another thing you might have to worry about:

Parents.

All of them are different. Therefore, it’s best to have a discussion with yours before beginning a relationship with anyone. In the event that your parents don’t approve of you dating – wait it out. Keep talking to them and explaining your situation — they only want the best for you. However, in the situation that your parents approve of you dating, but not the partner you’re with, stop and think to yourself: Why do they not like this person? If it’s something that cannot be changed about them, such as their gender or where they come from, then there’s no need for you to try and please your parents. Their views shouldn’t influence who you date.

If they don’t like something easily moldable about your partner, such as their attitude on the first day that they met, don’t worry. Communication and interaction can go a long way. Sometimes, though, your parents will be stubborn, and that’s fine. Just, when push comes to shove, never choose your partner over your family unless your family is destructive enough for you to want to do so. As a teenager, doing such an act is a gamble.

Like I said before, dating is a choice. You don’t have to date early, you don’t have to date late, you don’t have to date at all, and people trying to force you into a relationship may not be the best people to stick around with. Your happiness is your happiness, romantic relationship or not, and no one can take that away from you.

Arian is a fifteen year old student in high school. She enjoys astrology, Harry Potter, music, video games, writing (both creatively and for the magazine), as well as joking around with her friends. She considers herself to be involved in social justice (specifically movements of race, gender, and sexuality), and can be found voicing her views on those topics (among a plethora of jokes) on Twitter @poorlesian.