Written by Morgan Mullings
You’ve probably seen a 90s or 80s sitcom prom episode where the kids debate going to a hotel with their dates afterwards. While teenage sexual activity is already complicated, the feelings expressed on prom night can cause more than just the usual drama.
There are still a lot of pressures to have sex on prom night among today’s high schoolers, and that goes for both genders. Guys are pressured by their group of friends to finally “bang” that one girl they’ve been eyeing or make it official with their girlfriend. Girls are pressured by their dates or boyfriends (or even their group of friends) to finally lose their virginity before college.
You may have heard the phrase “you should really get the experience before college” from your peers or even your parents. This advice is only backed by the assumption that every college student is having a lot of sex, which is not true. Yes, a lot of students around you in college will be having sex or “hooking up” (even though a 2015 New York Magazine study shows that 40% of college students are virgins); that doesn’t mean you have to be. While your friends may tell you that prom night is the set time to lose your virginity, you should know that they don’t define your life choices. You are allowed to have sex when you feel you are comfortable and ready, and no high school made-up standards can take that away from you. And if you go to college, you will hopefully choose to be around people who don’t try to dictate your life.
For those of you facilitating the peer pressure, you may not even know you’re doing so. Understand that everyone’s lives are at completely different courses; you will act on your own morals and understanding, but that doesn’t mean that your friends need to follow. Know that sex requires consent from both parties; On prom night, it’s not all about your wants. If you don’t know how your significant other feels about it, it’s well worth it to start that conversation. It’s best to have all of the thoughts and feeling out there, because you cannot take back the consequences of assumptions in the moment.
Do what is fun for you on prom night, and you will be sure to have a great time. Any peer pressures or social standards will only create unwanted stress on your big night, so focus on making sure that you (and your date) get there, have a good time, and get home safely.
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