We’ve all heard it before. The average baby boomer who is somehow related to you stops mid-conversation about your career choice or whatever is currently being talked about to add the ever so condescending “Yeah, that’s a great choice… for a woman.” It’s impressive, really. In less than five words someone has managed to bring themselves lower on your personal scale of “people you actually might consider talking to during family reunions”. So, in a matter of minutes, you find yourself facing yet again the same dilemma: “to call them out or not to call them out?”
Let’s face it. We all have second doubts when our rant might be directed at grandma (She’s just so tiny and frail looking!), but phrases like these are the cause of a much larger ripple effect.
When phrases such as “like a girl”, “for a woman”, “that’s not for men”, “man up”, and so many along the lines of those are thrown around, they not only reinforce gender norms, but also teach people that we should stick to them. It’s these same phrases that trigger toxic masculinity, encourage sexualization of common careers (such as teaching and librarians), and basically tell children and young minds that they are meant to fit in a mold. By just stopping whomever said the phrase before they can progress as though it’s nothing, you could make them understand and take a step towards gender equality. Recently, the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault released a video where they encourage people to break the box and fight against gender norms and stereotypes. All of this with the goal to reduce and eliminate the high sexual assault rates in the US.
Think of it this way: Everyone is standing inside of a pool. This pool was designed so that a circular current flowed repeatedly throughout it. If everyone inside the pool began swimming or walking in the opposite direction, the current’s direction will be forced to stop or change. Just like by working together, many can change the current of the pool. If we all made sure to correct people when they throw around these phrases casually, we could change the future’s ideals to some much improved ones.
So the next time you find yourself uncomfortable in the middle of a conversation because another sexist comment was made yet again, take a deep breath and stop whomever said it. Correct them. Take a stand. Explain why it’s not okay. You might get shut down. You might get some insults thrown at you, but just remember… it’s our future as much as it is theirs, and when it comes to life: it’s all about growth and evolution.
