Why Your White Tears Don’t Matter

The dangers of white guilt

It has manifested itself into an epidemic, plaguing every racial-oriented discussion—white guilt, the dismantler of all relevant points and conversation. Consequential to the Black Lives Matter movement, white guilt is at its peak. Google defines it as “the individual or collective guilt felt by some white people for harm resulting from racist treatment of ethnic minorities by whites both historically and currently.” And I get it, it must be difficult. The dialogue is getting heavy, you’re beginning to feel ambushed, sweat is beading down your neck, and the insecure voice inside your head is crying “oh my God, white people do suck!” This type of commentary is provoked by white guilt and a longing to detach yourself from white privilege and systemic racism, which you, either way, are still benefited by. Your cries don’t account for anything. Just because you successfully acknowledge an oppressive history doesn’t substitute for activism or solidarity. Admission to wrongdoings isn’t compensation for it. In fact, in this case it makes things worse. It completely derails an important conversation on race and becomes a selfish cry for attention back onto you. It is a cheap ploy, a means of crying about your empathy but simultaneously not taking political responsibility for it.

OMG, if you don’t want an apology, what am I supposed to do?

Guilt is an emotion that is not constant, it can fade away instantaneously. You can distract yourself and pretend your “wokeness” makes up for systemic racism. Or, you can actually navigate a conversation in depth. Take something of substance away from it rather than make the conversation about you. Again, no one wants your white guilt. Instead you can:

1. Actively listen. In conversations surrounding racism, your opinion on what oppression is and isn’t doesn’t matter.
2. Try to understand. For example, instead of being offended when I said that your opinion on what oppression is doesn’t matter, ask yourself why it doesn’t matter. What are the differences between you and a person of color? Consider the media, how is your white privilege emphasized there? What are the differences between white people on TV and people of color on TV?
3. Be conscious. After you’ve developed a general understanding of systemic racism, think about the effects. Think about the past history, like the period post-desegregation. Consider arguments like “Slavery is over. There is no racism” and assess the discrepancies.In what ways are black people still affected by racism today?  If racism is over, why is there a racial wage gap? Why are black people associated so oftenly with poorer, urban areas?  How did this happen? These are only a few of the MILLIONS of sources out there for you. Do some research yourself and don’t expect to be educated in a discussion. People of color owe you no explanation, especially since you have a whole world of information at your fingertips. Research it and educate yourself but beware. If your solidarity is the result of you wanting to appear “woke” or visibly enlightened—news flash: we don’t want your solidarity. That is something that should only stem from your love of people and the belief that everyone deserves an equal opportunity.
4. Assess your privilege and act. You don’t have to make it some theatrical, grand gesture (think Macklemore and his case of extreme white guilt. You have to admit his actions are a little…extra). You can be helpful on a smaller scale. For instance, if a person of color is being followed around a store, question it. Simply say, “Are they doing something wrong? I don’t understand why they’re being followed?” Just by questioning it, you’ll most likely make whoever’s doing the following embarrassed. There’s a serious chance they don’t have a valid reason. Act in the face of discrimination but avoid making it about you (it’s super simple, seriously!!).

Why do I have to do so much? Why do I have to walk on eggshells around people of color? Why are you censoring me?

If you have to ask any of this, no one wants your alliance. It isn’t a matter of censorship or pushing aside the feelings of white folk when they try to sympathize, it’s a matter of demanding change.