“Things will get better,” this phrase seems to be the paradigm used when someone is attempting to help someone who is sad. And, as nice as that sounds. Sometimes it sure doesn’t seem like it.
For someone who continues to struggle keeping a positive “happy-go-lucky” mantra going on a day to day basis I can’t even begin to express how upset I get when people say this to me.
Sadness or any other emotion aside from happiness is treated as a burden, as if happiness is the default; the only sentiment we’re ever supposed to feel, and if we stray from it, it is best to get back to it as quickly as possible. Any sign of sorrow, hostility, envy, stress or apprehension is seen as a problem. When we reach out for help, we’re quickly coached with cliché slogans such as “It’ll be alright”, “wow, that sucks, I hope things work out” and “don’t give up”.
As someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety her late teen years it’s very exhausting trying to hide it most of the time. Going to work I have to put a smile on my face and struggle to ignore my own thoughts and my own problems for the sake of the company and the customer. My friend wrote tired of my constant state of sadness. Even with my mother it gets old. It’s as though it upsets people that I’m upset. In order to maintain their happiness I have to correct my own emotions. If masquerading contentment sounds awful imagine having to wear the mask all the time. Handling my mental illness and regarding abuse mental health was an old probably always be one of the most confusing situations I’ve ever been in. In other aspects of my life I am constantly dismissing any sign of disappointment and anger in order to dodge confrontation from people who care about me so I won’t have to worry them with my own problems.
And when I do indulge in my emotions, I am usually conflicted with what exactly I am feeling. After continuously rejecting what I feel I become confused with which emotion is which, what I should and do feel. Which only leads to more frustration and stress. Nevertheless, I don’t believe happiness is a bad thing. It is something we all deserve and should strive to achieve ultimately. Although certain mental illnesses make this impossible. I do however believe that we are not limited to happiness and our other feelings should be tended to and recognized just as much to achieve the ultimate sense of contentment
