Abuse (v): the act of repeating behavior to consistently have authority or possession over another person. While abuse is rarely taken seriously and acknowledged it is very evident in today’s society. We see it in trend of possessive girlfriends refusing to allow their boyfriends to have female friends and demanding to search through his phone. With men who pressure their wives, girlfriends, friends and colleagues into sexual acts. It’s apparent even amongst celebritiy couples such as Karrueche Tran and Chris Brown, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, Emma Robertson Evan Peters. A plethora of abusers and victims are in denial about whether they are being abused or abusing someone else. Abuse comes in multiple forms and relationships(romantic relationships, family members, coworkers, employers, teachers, peers, etc). While it is hard to face facts and leave the situation the first step is recognizing the behavior itself. Abuse is a traumatic burden on out society and interferes with the climate of how we interact with other people.
How is abuse harmful?
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and everyone no matter the age, race, gender or sexuality. Over 70% of Americans know someone who has been or is currently being abused. With 86% of victims of domestic abuse in romantic relationships and one in four susceptible to being abused women as a whole make up one of the largest demographics that are abused and at risk. Two out of every three female homicides are women who were killed by their partners or a family member. One out of three police calls involve some type of domestic disturbances. Children are just as prone to continue these trends . While children may just witness abuse those that do are more likely to repeat the behavior or become future victims themselves. Furthermore domestic abuse costs Americans roughly 8 million days of paid work each year and is the third leading cause of homelessness.
What are the different types of abuse?
There are many different types of abuse and abusers. Each type is different and contain a variety of signs and symptoms. Abusers may use aspects of each to cause harm to their victim.
Physical
Physical abuse probably the most familiar type of abuse that people hear about. Although physical abuse may not cause harm it always is intentionally done to create unwanted contact to the body and establish power. Signs of physical abuse may include:
• grabbing face or other parts of the body
• forced sex/sexual acts
• throwing objects
• punching, kicking, biting, shoving,etc
• threats of physical abuse
Emotional, Mental, Verbal, Psychological abuse
Emotional abuse is non physical abuse that is used with the intent of causing emotional/mental/psychological harm to the victim. It is meant to degrade and make the victim feel weak. Signs may include:
• attacking your disabilities insecurities and vulnerabilities
• damaging your property
• blaming
• starting rumors about you are exposing and confided information
• isolating you from family friends and loved ones
• guilt tripping
• withholding affection as punishment
• breaking promises
• mind games and ignoring your feelings (also known as
• put-downs and name-calling
• giving orders on where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear/do
Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse is the pressures to engage in sexual acts you do not fill comfortable or restraining/restricting sexuality and one’s access to supplies to maintain sexual health. Signs may include:
• unwanted kissing or touching or sexual activity
• rape and attempted rape
• molestation
• threatening and pressuring into sexual acts
• limiting access to contraceptives
Financial/economic abuse
Financial abuse is the act of controlling funds and monetary transactions. Signs may include
• restricting access to your paychecks and funds
• preventing the access to records and accounts
• limiting hours you work
• trying to get you discharged or fired
• using your social security number and other personal information
• not allowing you to enjoy your money
• using their own money as a source of control and throwing it back in your face
Digital abuse
Digital abuse is the use of technology to carry out abuse. Signs make include:
• stalking and keeping tabs on your profiles
• telling you who you can/cannot be friends with or follow
• sending threatening or intimidating messages
• demanding pictures/videos/sexts
• insists on having your passwords and the ability to access your account(s)
• being aggressive at you for not answering calls or texts
• going through accounts in messages without consent
What can I do?
The biggest impact you can have on domestic abuse in relationships is to take any steps you’re comfortable with to help yourself and others. If you or someone you know is dealing with abuse contact an adult, friend, teacher, coworker or anyone you trust that can help. These days if you can’t reach out to someone personally apps like AspireNews to help victims of domestic abuse. There is also a national hotline that is available 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224(TTY). Remember, you’re not alone when you’re going through this. You are kind, intelligent, and worthy of love; the kind of love that doesn’t hurt.
