Originally used as a term to describe the code of honor by which knights lived, the concept of chivalry has evolved into the 21st century, sans the shining armor. Although hundreds of years have passed since its birth, chivalry remains just as medieval in its practice.
The problem with chivalry today is not that people are being kind to one another, the issue lies in that it exists as quite the opposite. General courtesy is almost necessary to thrive in an increasingly cutthroat world. However, the way that it has manifested itself in American culture, especially in the South, is actually quite sexist. Typically speaking, there are certain acts that are associated with chivalry and others with general courtesy, although the two should be the same. Some acts of “oh so selfless kindness” include – but are not limited to a man holding the door open for a woman. A man offering his seat to a woman. A man walking along the outside of a sidewalk when with a woman. A man always covering the bill on a date… with a woman. Get the picture?
At first glance, it appears as though legitimate thoughtfulness is prompting all of these deeds. However, the underlying motivation is typically not as pure. Described in academia as benevolent sexism, this phenomenon entails a man performing seemingly harmless gestures, only to turn around and expect something much greater than a “thank you” from the receiver. Benevolent sexism is as destructive as, if not more destructive than, stereotypical sexism. Stereotypical sexism, at least, is seen for what it is: unsafe, uninformed, and unacceptable. It is blatant and raw and true in its form; it hides from no one. But when you put a wolf in sheep’s clothing and name it Chivalry, discerning whether the man that just bought you dinner genuinely hoped you enjoyed getting to know each other or if he simply tried to pay his way into your panties becomes rather challenging.
For a plethora of reasons, men’s actions – specifically toward women – are put on a pedestal and romanticized while every other exchange of politeness is considered human decency. It stems from the philosophy of misogyny that insists that women are weaker than men, need to be saved by men, and that they owe their entire existence to men based on a series of unimpressive interactions that nobody quite remembers or even asked for. The Knight in Shining Armor may seem appealing at first, but if his interest is not reciprocated, the suit comes off and all of a sudden the fair maiden becomes the dragon which he must slay.
While the nature of social progression has made the functionality of knighthood obsolete, what has remained is anything but honorable. Although chivalry is not quite deceased, it is dying a slow painful death – and for that everyone can raise their chalices.
