Daddy Issues. Those who have been diagnosed with Daddy Issues are colloquially described as sexually promiscuous women with low self-esteem and lower standards, onset by a lack of a strong paternal relationship during their upbringing. Symptoms include giving their attention to only the most undeserving of scum, dressing in clothes so revealing that Britney Spears has to look away, and serious apprehension when it comes to committing to anything and everything. Seriously, she won’t commit to finishing a two-hour movie on Netflix, much less the undeserving scum. I mean, what’s wrong with her? That’s right, she’s got Daddy Issues.
Every single flaw that a woman with an acute case of Daddy Issues has can and should be attributed to them. After all, a woman who genuinely enjoys her father’s company would never, ever procrastinate, would she?
What may have started out as a tiny little joke among misogynistic men who cannot grasp the concept of abuse has spiraled into a culture of taking that same abuse and slapping on the term as an excuse to continue the cycle of it. Because that’s what Daddy Issues truly are: women suffering from and coping with domestic abuse. It could be triggered by a number of things: neglect, verbal, physical, or sexual abuse, or a combination of some or all of these to any degree. No matter the specific cause, starting at a young age, victims have to cope with situations that will not be classified, if ever, until years later when the damage is already done.
It is unfair of society to be so harsh toward these victims of abuse. After all, for every little girl in the world whose father was not the parent he was supposed to be, there is an almost equal number of their male counterparts. However, the term “daddy issues” only seems to apply to women. Men’s relationships with their fathers are not necessarily aired out by the media as the source of what is inherently flawed about them. Men’s commitment issues (however exaggerated) are a constant source of drama in television shows and movies. However, unlike with their female counterparts, no one stops and says, “Hey, maybe he’s got Daddy Issues. Maybe his dad left his mother and he is doing the same thing over and over again.” The male equivalent of daddy issues is being a mama’s boy, and that is not necessarily a terrible thing, whereas there is literally no way to spin daddy issues. This is inherently sexist because the fact of the matter is that men’s actions are not critiqued or ridiculed in the way that those of women are.
It is beyond time that “daddy issues” stops being used as a term to trivialize the experiences of young girls who are consistently being traumatized. It is beyond time that people recognize that every single action of a woman is not inherently linked to the things of her past. Maybe she really doesn’t like you. Maybe she really likes showing off her legs. It is normal. It is human.
Last but certainly not least, it is beyond time that fathers, and men in general, are held responsible for their actions. Abuse is abuse, and simply calling it “daddy issues” is to downplay and mock the suffering of millions. These women are not “crazy” and for someone who is supposed to care about and understand her to call her that because of how she reacts to a man treating her like she is worthless is more than ironic — it is insulting. Abuse victims are never responsible for what happened to them, period. Instead of bashing them, a better alternative is to be patient, understanding, and honest. If you are not willing, she is not the one with issues, you are.
