We live in a society that places a lot of emphasis on a person’s outward appearance. There is always going to be that longing feeling of being pretty. Many girls go through wanting to feel like they are beautiful. Even the people who you would not expect to have a similar feeling to you.
“Mama said, ‘You’re a pretty girl. What’s in your head, it doesn’t matter.’”
I have a longing feeling to be beautiful. Growing up, I never felt accepted by the people around me. It would either be my race or my weight or just how I look as a whole. I’d be lying if I said that I’ve never wanted to fit inside of society’s beauty standards. Wanting to be beautiful takes over the feeling of wanting to be happy sometimes. I have a tendency to overthink pretty much everything.
When I was little girl I was chubby. I had braids and dark skin. I wasn’t appealing to anyone. At one point a boy told me I looked like medusa because of my braids. This resulted in me having a panic attack and having to be sent to a counselor (who didn’t really help me with anything). Eventually, growing up I rapidly lost my baby weight however, for 16 years of my life, I had braids. That boy had completely scarred me away from braids. I didn’t want someone else to call me medusa because I already had names from people regarding my skin colour. You know the people who can’t handle seeing people who have diverse skin colours in person therefore they have to resort to scaring them away with racism and making them feel small and different.
Feeling like this resulted in me feeling like I was DU(F)F (designated ugly friend), I felt like I should stay by myself and not bother my friends who are two beautiful people that anyone would be lucky to have in their lives. The truth is, I was embarrassed. When i first started high school, I was bullied. I still don’t know to this day why i was targeted but I was. Every time I was in maths class, the chair would be moved when i sat down and people would put tippex on my blazer (which I don’t think my mum was pleased about considering the price of blazers) but I didn’t really say anything about it because I felt like I deserved it. There was feeling where I just decided that maybe there is something wrong me with so I just need to accept it.
Accepting that someone does not like you for you are, is painful but never let it overcome you. I came home crying to my sister and my mum all the time because of things that people said but they reminded me that, there’s always going to be people who say something about how you look. But that does not change the fact that your soul is beautiful. Eventually, the bullying stopped because they moved onto their next target, one of the people who bullied me is currently my close friend. She simply did it because the boy was doing it and she had a crush, which she deeply regrets because the boy was and is still a jerk. But oh well, she is a lovely person and that guy I doubt will ever change and mature.
“But you can’t fix what you can’t see. It’s the soul that needs a surgery” This is the line that is the most significant as Beyoncé, explains that beauty in the eyes on the beholder. It is about what is within that matters. Not everything on the outside is important. As long as you feel like you are a good person and you’re beautiful inside that is what is significant.
Beyoncé reveals the inspiration behind her song Pretty Hurts comes from the pressure on women to have outer beauty in society. This song helped become to woman I am today, I connected with the lyrics and I realised, I am not the same person I was when i was growing up. I have changed for the better. I feel beautiful. I am beautiful. Inside.
As I grew up, I learnt that being black is beautiful and the people who came after me; even when I felt good about myself. I hope they live a happy life.
