Almost all of us have been through a romantic breakup before, and they suck, but I think we can all agree that friend breakups are the absolute worst. Friend breakups hurt way more and take longer to get over. You spent so much time with this person, and made so many memories with them, so when they leave it seems almost impossible to get over.
Sometimes it’s easy for you to see it coming like maybe they don’t respond to your texts anymore, or they blow you off when you make plans to hang out. Other times, the signs aren’t so clear, you could get in a fight, or start to drift apart. Either way, a friend breakup is one of the hardest things a person can go through.
I’ve been through multiple friend breakups, more than I have romantic breakups and with each one I had a different way of coping. The first ever friend breakup I went through was, of course, the hardest. I refused to let myself feel any emotions, which was probably the worst thing I could have done. Now that I’m older and I’ve been through that a few times, I know I shouldn’t neglect my feelings. I know it’s okay to be sad, sometimes that’s the best thing to do actually. Remember that episode of Gilmore Girls when Rory and Dean break up, and Rory refuses to dwell on it. Lorelai tries to tell her it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to wallow, but instead, Rory makes a list of things to do and pretends it never happened. Later on in the episode, she ends up crying and feeling everything all at once.
As Lorelai Gilmore taught us, it’s okay to wallow. It’s okay to cry. Allow yourself to be sad. It’s not healthy for you to bottle up your emotions anyway. Anger and sadness are an important part of life. Recent studies show accepting and experiencing these emotions are vital to our mental health. Keeping these emotions inside of you can backfire and diminish your sense of contentment. So grab that Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, turn on Love Actually, (or any sappy movie that makes you cry,) and wallow to your hearts’ content.
Friend breakups are awful, but it’s just something we have to go through. Some people will come into your life and stay forever, others are around for just a short time. As Mother Teresa once said, “Some people come in our life as blessings. Others come in out life as lessons.”
