Life is never a piece of cake. You can be overwhelmed by social, cultural, political, and economic pressures – regardless of your age, gender, nationality – though everyone experiences these things to varying extents. You can find yourself overwhelmed by nothing in particular – you are just sad. Down in the dumps. For many, this is the case: according to Huffington Post, the number of people affected globally by depression in 2015 was 350 million. In the United States, 50% of Americans with depression did not seek treatment. How many of those were teenagers?
In my case, I never got help. To this day I am unsure if I actually suffered from clinical depression because I was never diagnosed – but I think I came pretty close. I went through some rough patches in recent years, struggling with self-esteem, a divided family, lack of sleep, and constant anxiety. I had also seen friends in the same situation, becoming exhausted in a battle against themselves. But since then, I have gotten better. The process was gradual and taxing, but along the way I learned ways to help myself, which has been worth it. So here I share them with you.
1. Take things one step at a time.
It’s easy to think about the future and worry, as the looming half of your life ahead of you introduces new pressures of surviving and thriving in a competitive society. Especially as a teenager, it’s like you’re too old for some things and too young for others. You are expected to undertake new responsibilities and be able to make wise choices that determine where you go, what you’ll do, who you’ll meet – and the idea of a large, vast world outside your little school, local town, can be scary. That’s okay. Take on one thing at a time. Work on getting out of bed and getting dressed. Finish your workload one assignment at a time. Focus on getting through the next day, and congratulate yourself for surviving today. Take a breather. Do not worry about stakes, concentrate on doing things the best that you can. Take one step, then another, and another. That’s how you get there.
2. Be patient with yourself.
Our society is very competitive – everyone is comparing themselves to others, wanting to be pretty, intelligent, successful. Technology is rapidly advancing, we are rapidly growing up, and everything seems a blur. Remember that life is not a race. It’s not about how fast you can be better than someone else. It’s about how soon you can accept yourself. Do this by making yourself comfortable with what you do. Think about the funny things you say, the witty remarks you make, the conversation you add to (which you do) by being you. That is valuable. Don’t worry about making mistakes, being judged by others. Be patient, and let yourself grow at your own pace.
3. Let it out.
Get it out. If it’s by journaling, painting, screaming at a wall, throwing your toys across the room, crying in your pillow, ranting to your best friend. This one is so important, because if you keep your feelings bottled in, they accumulate until you burst. Empty yourself of toxic feelings and worries so that you can store hopes and dreams and things you love. Talk about it, write about it, sing about it, yell about it. You have a voice, and you can use it. Let it out, and you will be able to let things go.
4. Understand that getting better is always easier said than done, but that the point is it can be done.
There will be bad days and worse days. There will be ups and downs. But every day that you make it through, every minute that you are not disparaging yourself or contemplating a way out is an accomplishment. Recovery is a process that may be strenuous but is worthwhile. Imagine falling down a deep hole, everything blurring around you and the sky becoming further and further away. The deeper you are, the harder it will be to climb out. Yet the sky that you will see once you resurface, the fresh air you breathe, the relaxation and relief you feel, will be so rewarding.
5. There is always someone who loves you, someone willing to listen, someone ready to help.
There are other people going through the same struggle as you. They may be in different circumstances, in different time zones, but they feel the same way. You are not alone.
There are people who love you – whether it be your family, your pets, your siblings, your friends, your mentors. They will pick you up when you’re down, take care of you when you’re sick, dust you off when you’re tired.
There are people who are always ready to listen – and they are just a phone call, text, email, door away. They might be a therapist or a friend, or your pet dog. They can be a teacher or an older sibling, or a grandpa. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Know that there are people who will understand.
Disclaimer: The author of this article is NOT a professional in mental health. These tips are not guaranteed to immediately or completely cure anyone of depression, only to alleviate any stress and anxiety that may be fuelling their condition. If you are looking for in-depth treatment, please seek help.
Here’s where you can do that:
- Teen Health and Wellness Hotline
- Talk to another teen or someone who understands on Teen Line
- If you don’t live in the US, find a helpline here
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