Lately the topic of hyper-masculinity has been more prevalent than ever. I’m hearing about more incidents, and seeing more and more harmful stereotypes and expectations in genders. I’ve seen tweets, read articles, and I’m even reading a book currently where toxic hyper-masculinity is a main focus.
But my observations don’t stop at masculinity. Whether the argument be men must be masculine, or women must be feminine, the world hasn’t seemed to move much in its ideas about gender roles and the labels that seem to come with them.
I often hear people trying to label others as certain sexualities or genders based solely on their personal preferences in how they physically present themselves, or what they enjoy doing. These labels are in fact gender roles. Women don’t have to be homemakers anymore and men don’t have to work anymore, but that doesn’t mean that gender roles are nonexistent.
They’ve evolved into something more subtle, but they’re still very real.
This evolution of gender roles means they don’t seem as initially oppressive or harmful, but they are. While gender roles in the 50’s controlled how people had to live their lives, today’s gender roles are forcing people who don’t conform to every stereotype to be automatically labelled as something they might not be. Some are labelled as a member of the LGBTQ+ community even if they’re not, or before they are ready to accept it or come out.
Labeling people either before they’re out, or labeling them as the wrong sexuality/gender identity is harmful because that person then feels that they must conform to stereotypes set for a specific sexuality/gender identity. No one should feel as if they must validate their sexual or gender identities by how they present themselves.
Just because a man is wearing lipstick or a woman has short hair doesn’t mean that they’re a specific sexuality or gender identity, because that doesn’t make sense.
The way that you act and present yourself has no correlation to who you’re dating or what gender you identify as.
How would it?
Though being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is never a negative thing, these labels are harmful when assumptions are made. First of all, it’s annoying and just plain rude. That information is personal and unless you know them on a somewhat intimate level and they approach you about it, their sexuality or gender identity is absolutely none of your business. It’s not something that you need to worry about or even think about, because the way that someone identifies doesn’t determine who they are as a person. Also, making those assumptions creates stereotypes and expectations for different sexualities and gender identities. This can cause someone to think that they have to fit a specific mold in order to validate their identification.
Gender roles are still a very real part of our society, and they affect many within the LGBTQ+ community through the assumptions that others may make. Physical presentation has nothing to do with the sexuality or gender of a person. Though these societal roles may have improved since the 50’s when gender dictated entire lives, these stereotypes are still harmful and can emotionally hurt and confuse others. Our society is driven by labels and titles, and it’s unnecessary. There’s no reason to label someone as something if they haven’t confided in you first. Gender roles do still exist, and they’re affecting LGBTQ+ people as well as anyone who doesn’t conform to standard gender stereotypes.
