If I had a dollar for every time I have been described as “loud,” I would not be writing this article right now. I would be luxuriating on my private yacht, basking in the beams of the radiating sun as we sailed around the Bahamas whilst sipping on freshly squeezed lemonade. Basically, I get called loud a lot.
I’m not sure when/how I became the opinionated, rambunctious gal that I am, but I don’t regret it, that’s for sure. There was a time not long ago when I was petrified of raising my hand in class in case I got the answer wrong or my voice sounded “weird” and my peers would laugh at me. There was a time when I was so scared to voice my opinion in case others would disagree or think I was a know-it-all. But even though I forced myself to conform to the feminine, petite, wife material ideals, I was unhappy and I didn’t like myself.
There was a long journey ahead to self-acceptance and realising what was worth my time and worries and there is still a long way to go, but I’ve never felt more like myself than today – in 2016. I don’t know why, but somewhere between being a pre-teen and a young woman I found the voice and grew the thick skin I desperately needed to survive this terribly judgemental world, and I’m thankful. But part of me is resentful of the last five years. I was judged and shamed for being the silent, unapproachable little girl in the past, and now I am judged and shamed for being an “in your face” young woman. It seems no matter what end of the spectrum you are on, nobody is happy.
After sleeping on these thoughts, I got mad. I can’t recall the last full seven-day week I’ve had when I haven’t been called “loud” or asked to “shut up,” but never have I ever heard anyone describe a man likewise. When a woman is opinionated and direct she is called a “bitch,” nine times out of ten. However, when a man is forward and direct about his thoughts he is being “manly” and “doing what a man does best.” The “ideal” woman must not raise her voice or be too direct; even looking a man in the eye can be seen as intimidating. We must always present a tiny amount of weakness when interacting with men to enforce the theory that women are the inferior sex and were meant to be male dominated. Ultimately, a woman can’t be too confident about her ideas because she is only a woman, after all, and she’s probably wrong, right?
Wrong. I refuse to “tone it down” or close my mouth more to please my male, or even my female peers. I have every single right to speak my mind and have an opinion regardless of whether a man feels threatened or not. We need more women who will put themselves out there and challenge the social expectations of what a good girl should be. If I did anything less, I would be betraying myself and what I stand for — and that seems like a much bigger sacrifice than any man.
This article is dedicated to all my “opinionated” women in the world. For all the women who have ever been described as “outspoken” or “in your face.” For all the women who can’t speak their minds without being called “loud” or a bitch. I am here to tell you that not only it is okay but to keep going.
Keep speaking your mind, keep giving your opinions, keep standing up even when you’ve been knocked down. We should encourage more women to be loud and proud because those are the women who are going to force change, whether our society is ready for it or not. If being a strong, independent, original girl makes me a bitch, so be it.
