I Am a Feminist and My Father Supports Donald Trump

Donald Trump, Time Magazine’s person of the year, an advocate of “locker room talk”, a sexist and the newly-elected President of what is arguably the most powerful country in the world. But you knew that.

Everyone knows his reputation; he is constantly in the news for his outspokenness and questionable relationship with his daughter. But that’s not what this article is about.  Donald Trump is a big wedge in a wig that snuck its way into my family, specifically between my father and I.

But we got over it, survived our differences, and so can you.

I’m directing this to the younger generation, particularly those living with their parents and their age-old views. Whether it be sexism, lack of acceptance for the LGBTQ community, or your independent choices for your future. For me, feminist thinking has been engrained in my mind through a supportive community of women and girls. I attended a progressive girls’ school and my mother is the strongest woman I know, her business ventures and resilience will forever inspire the idea that I can do anything (as can any woman) and those who don’t believe that (like our friend Donald) are begging to be proved wrong.

However, my father has what I call “older generation syndrome”, and tends to fall back on age-old sexist beliefs in everyday conversation. He once pointed at a bright red Suzuki Swift driven by a man on the highway and said “That’s a women’s car, he ought to have something bigger, maybe a darker color, you know?”. I usually respond with a deep sigh and a rehearsed explanation of the sexist tendencies of his generation to stereotype motor vehicles. This has been an exciting challenge through my teenage years as I have grown to be more aware of sexism and the feminist movement, and used his natural ignorance as a chance to exercise my arguments for equality. However, the 2016 U.S. Presidential election brought forward a much bigger fish to fry. Living in Australia, there was a degree of separation between American politics and I.

I admit that my judgements of both candidates were based on my limited knowledge of politics, and my feminist beliefs caused me to gravitate away from the man on the television stating “you can do anything… grab ‘em by the pussy”.

Clinton was not a flawless candidate and neither was Trump, but as a young Australian woman separated from the other political aspects of the debate, I was #WithHer. With my father having different views on race, terrorism and equality, he saw Trump as a fitting leader for a nation “in decline”. Now that you know of the situation, here’s how to survive.

Although my father was ignorant of the state of my future world, he never directly rejected me as an individual. However, he felt it was necessary to voice his argument to me, while my rebuttals fell on deaf ears. As you can imagine, this is incredibly frustrating. Here are my tips to restore peace before political debates break out during Christmas dinner:

1. Understand that they feel their views are just as dignified as yours are. You can’t expect them to roll over straight away when your opinions butt heads. Just like you’ve absorbed the views of the millennial generation, they did the same – it’s just expired.
2. Sometimes it’s good to avoid a topic. If it doesn’t cause a buildup of tension, it might be best to avoid the debated topic. Trust me, fighting to be heard during dinner only leaves you with a bitter taste and cold chicken.
3. Stubbornness is like talking to a brick wall. They’re older, and think they’re wiser. Trying to change their ways is only adding bricks to the wall.
4. It’s not about changing their opinion. Let them have it their way in their head and focus on accepting your differences. Agree to disagree and move on.
5. Laughing is better than screaming. I use humor as a defense mechanism and a tool for uncomfortable situations. Through learning to drive and rebelling, I’ve discovered it’s beneficial to just laugh in response to yelling. Warning: do not laugh sarcastically – it does not evoke a positive response. Really laugh, let out the anger in a big scary laugh. They might laugh too.
6. There’s a whole generation of like-minds. Talk to a friend, or a classmate, about your opinions – but don’t push it down their throat! Finding someone who reciprocates your desire for a pure world of equality and rainbows can be just as satisfying as changing your parent’s opinion!

And please remember it would be really sad to let Donald Trump, the big wedge in a wig, ruin your relationship with your family members. Stand up for your beliefs, because your parent definitely will to theirs. It may not seem like it, but blood is thicker than Trump.