Parents and other adults love to advise the younger generation on how to live; my theory is that it comes from a reflection on their own regrets. Sometimes the advice is wanted and other times not, but the voice sneaks into your mind anyway. This has increased in the last year for me and many other school-leavers. At this time of year, it reaches its peak when students have to make decisions on university, college, work or travel in the new year. Also, because it’s when you see all your relatives and they can ask you pressuring questions over Christmas ham.
Most students (past and present) will tell you that the past year has been a confusing and frustrating time. A year ago, parents and older friends told me I was about to embark on a year of non-stop work – a race to the finish line. It was time to “knuckle down” and “toughen up,” but the ironic thing is, most of the time it wasn’t the work itself that was stressful – it fueled me to work harder. But the amount of conflicting opinions and pieces of advice I received, whether it was how to study, or what marks to aim for, when to start thinking about the future and what learning options were “a waste of time” or offered “a high salary,” caused me the most grief. There was little warning of how many mixed opinions were going to wedge into my mind at a time when I needed to think clearly. It’s as though being an impressionable teen, on the brink of adulthood puts a big sign on your back that says “HELP ME,” but I didn’t write the sign.
Millennials are stereotyped as lazy and dependent. That critique has trickled down through older generations, and we can’t seem to shake it off our backs. As much as adults like to critique us, our generation is also seen as one big charity case. As an adult, giving a nugget of advice to a younger person is like donating to a charity, you feel good because you’ve put yourself to use. But from my perspective, another opinion is slung onto my back, and it conflicts with my parents’ opinions (which conflict with each other) and my career advisor’s. So by the end of the year, when all the work is done and I have to decide what I want to do, there are so many voices in my head that I can’t hear my own. If I get a good mark, is it a waste to choose a less competitive degree? If I get an 89 and my friend got a 93, did I not work hard enough? We can’t stop these thoughts running through our heads at night. And older people might wonder why we want to keep our marks to ourselves. But this isn’t the worst of it.
When I was deciding between university and travel, my father told me, “a gap year is a waste of time” while my sister said not travelling before university was her biggest regret. This was only the first fork in the road. When it came to choosing degrees to apply for, there were so many stereotypes. Everything that I was drawn to had a catch – if I do an arts degree, I’m wasting time and I probably smoke weed. Media and communications? You do nothing, waste of money. That’s just for “people who don’t know what they want to do but their parents will pay for it.” Law? You’re reaching too high, you just want to do it because everyone else does and you might be a millionaire some day. My father (whose opinions often inspire articles) recently told me I “need to do something that’ll make big money,” to which I responded, “I don’t want to be rich if it means I hate what I do.” To think I thought my future would be decided based on what I want to do, out of all the advice I received, no one told me I had to commit to being stereotyped by my first degree.
The reality is that we live in a globalised world where employment is more competitive than ever. And it’s one of those cons to being the next generation – we might just have to deal with it. No matter what stage of learning you’re at, take advice into consideration but put your opinions before any other. I would rather go back to kindergarten then find myself years from now wondering why I listened to any voice other than my own.
Comments are closed.