When I say ‘Cool Girl’ what do you think of?
Perhaps Gone Girl‘s Amy springs into mind with her monologue of the Cool Girl – ‘the girl who adores football, dirty jokes, poker, burping,’ and to cut it short, everything that combines with the social construct of masculinity. But Cool Girl has various different definitions and as Amy perfectly concluded, they all link to the man. Stereotypically, the Cool Girl appeals to men because she likes being viewed as ‘one of the guys’ and would prefer the interests of a male group (or specifically a man) rather than any other group with any other gender. But unfortunately, her role gets piled on with even more depth as the generations change so be prepared to feast your eyes on the spectacle of the 21st Century ‘Cool Girl.’
It seems like today’s definition of Cool Girl is gradually getting worse. With great powers of feminism and the increase in political and social awareness comes great hate. I’m sure many beyond many of you readers have experienced or even heard misogynistic, anti-feminist, xenophobic, racist, homophobic comments which get normalised to ‘cheeky/playful banter.’ I, myself, have had several aimed at me due to my strong, passionate opinions but it’s often disguised as ‘just banter.’ Banter doesn’t count, banter is just ‘joking’. To be offended by banter just means you’re triggered. Don’t get easily triggered like a feminist (!)
Wrong, wrong and wrong – even by normalising your comments and classing it as banter, is a great significant catalyst in how we view women who are not ‘cool girls’ – even feminists. What makes your specialised banter in degrading people for their race, gender, or sexuality any different from someone who meant it ‘seriously’? You’re still saying something equally disrespectful, who cares about the tone you said it in? Back to the subject, Cool Girls and their opinions – I’ve been lucky enough to examine a few Cool Girls in “natural settings” and whilst they may have private opinions on social affairs and recent news, never once is it brought up as a matter of importance when needed. A scenario:
*A group of immature, ignorant boys laugh about feminism and say very misogynistic comments.*
*Cool Girl laughs along and perhaps adds even more comments*
And that scenario in a nutshell, is why I dislike the image of ‘Cool Girl’. Some Cool Girls perhaps solely want to appeal to boys, which is why they put this act on (because appealing to a group of boys is looked up to more than actually defending your own gender) but why go through this much struggle to appeal to them? The only boys that Cool Girl attracts are ignorant, backward boys who take advantage of your ‘so called’ naivety (assumed to not know anything about social affairs) and use that to showcase their dominance.
This in itself sounds repulsive; you should not try to change the way you act just to appeal to boys who crave Cool Girl. You should stick true to yourself and fight through with love for your sisters but also every single other gender.
The stigma of Cool Girl being dumb and naive is dangerous since we women are just as equally clever to men. We shouldn’t add a bad stigma to women who talk about issues of importance because our voice should be just as valued as a man’s voice or anyone else’s voice. Furthermore, the whole stigma of how women who talk about social affairs are ‘whiney’ should be eradicated completely – instead, examine the idea that we regard worldwide issues and are willing to talk about it, to educate others and to get our voices heard – to not just simply ignore or deny it to please the people around us or even worse, to be rated more in our friendship group (hypothetically, an ignorant group in this case). Cool Girls, the pressure is tough and perhaps you want to conform to that particular group so badly, but never hide your true opinions on matters just to fit in with your ‘mates’ since your voice is just as important as theirs. And although your voice might be unpopular in a crowd that are used to such vile language, speak out! Speak out and don’t be afraid to disagree with the occasional misogynistic comments made about your own gender.
Lastly, Cool Girl is an unattainable standard. We shouldn’t persuade ourselves to conform to this standard just so we believe we can find a chance at love. We should never alter ourselves to try get to impossible standards! How can we fit ourselves to a word so subjective and arbitrary after all, Cool Girl means different preferences to different people.
The definition of Cool Girl changes at least every second so you might as well be comfortable with yourself and love yourself for who you are.
