It’s obvious to any feminist that feminism has a bad reputation. For some reason, empowering women and advocating for social, political, and economic equality of the sexes equates to a man-hating, family-destroying, hairy-legged-lesbian movement. But when people come hating on feminism, I would bet they never met a real intersectional feminist. It is important before you decide not to be a feminist, you know what feminists really stand for.
First, I would like to derail some stereotypes. I know quite a lot of feminists, and not one hates men. Most of them shave, and the ones who don’t such as myself completely respect girls who do shave. In fact, my hairy legs aren’t even a feminist statement; it saves me time and I find it more comfortable. Feminists don’t hate stay at home moms or want to destroy families. A huge part of feminism is respecting all of girls’ decisions, as long as they are consented. Feminists support stay at home moms and women who never marry. We support girls who are virgins and girls who love sex; as long as it is consensual and completely her decision.
I’m not the best example of this, but not all feminists are lesbians. Many of my feminist friends are straight, and many are queer. We’re not all ugly, we’re not all women; a third of men today identify as a feminist. We are all different and also all have our own reasons for being a feminist.
About a week ago, after the comment “get back to the kitchen” from the same person, I got the following comment on my feminist page @feministgrrrls:
“So you believe in equal rights? And you’re not a modern feminist who just pure hates men? And you agree that women who rape men should do the same time as men do?…”
YES. I believe in equal rights– and equality in everything else as well, feminism is not just about rights. And if a feminist does not believe in equal rights, then they’re not a feminist!
I really hate this “modern feminist” thing. First, I have not ever in my life met a feminist who “just pure hates men.” Modern feminism may be different from feminism in the 1920s, but that is because we’ve made progress and no longer need to gain the right to vote or focus on as many legal issues. Feminism has evolved, but for the better. Modern feminism is becoming more intersectional, not man-hating. And even if there are a few man-hating feminists out there, that’s not what feminism stands for and no one should refrain from being a feminist just because a few feminists out there don’t have the right idea.
I don’t know how much I have to stress that feminism is good for men! Feminists want equality– even if it is not beneficial to women in certain circumstances. If a women sexually abuses, assaults, rapes- or does any crime against a man for that matter- feminists believe she deserves the same punishment a man would receive.
If you are still not sure you have the right meaning of feminism, I recommend asking a feminist you know why they are a feminist. Everyone has their own reasons and it is good to see the variety of reasons people support feminism. If you are new to the feminist movement, a good start would be reading We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, it explains in a great, easy to understand way why feminism is beneficial to everyone.
So before you go assuming things about feminism- or any movement for that matter- do your research and see what it is really about from a first hand source!
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