Have you ever seen a sixteen-year-old girl wearing a Rolling Stones shirt, and you’re just extremely sure in the fact that she can’t name one song of theirs? Do you think that mocking girls who like Starbucks and UGGS in the winter is funny? Do you cal “loud” black girls who use slang, “ghetto”, while simultaneously finding the “Cash Me Ousside” girl funny? Are you constantly pointing out the fact that girls who wear Thrasher and Vans are trying way too hard to be different? Isn’t it just so frustrating when Latinx/Hispanic girls aren’t incredibly sexual like you expect them all to be, but even worse when they are?
Here’s an idea on how to not be bothered by any said situation anymore: Stop. Stop putting girls, young and old, of any race or religion, cisgendered or not, in boxes. Stop giving them unrealistic expectations, and then criticizing them for trying to reach said expectations or not being able to.
In this day and age, teenage girls really can not like anything without being stereotyped, judged, and harshly criticized. We are torn down and mistreated for being who we are. Girls can not like classic rock, without being told by grown men with floor length beards that, “Those bands have been around forever sweetheart, are you just now discovering them?” Liking old bands such as Nirvana, Fleetwood Mac, Led Zeppelin, The Ramones, etc. earns you the stamp of trying too hard to be “indie and alternative” with your Joy Division shirt. Top 40’s music is not enjoyable though and listening to it means you are just too mainstream. Wearing tight fitting clothes and showing off your body because you are proud and capable of doing so, means you are asking for unwarranted sexual advantages, disregarding the fact that you might have just been trying to look good for yourself. Dressing up is nice but not frequently, and wearing sweatpants every day is unacceptable because clearly, girls who wear comfy clothes do not love themselves. If you like makeup and wearing a large amount of it, doing more than the everyday “natural” look, you are once again, trying way too hard. On the other hand, if you do not wear any makeup you are lazy. Loud girls are annoying and talk too much, but doesn’t it just suck when she doesn’t seem to have an opinion because nobody likes a girl who is actually shy or perhaps reserved. Hypersexual girls who enjoy sex are “slutty” and those who don’t are “prude”. Girls who are into S.T.E.M. (science, technology, engineering, and math) are shamed by “nerd culture”, told that unless they fit the hot smart girl mold who you find intelligent with her glasses on and hair up, and sexy with contacts in and hair down, they aren’t welcome. And girls with no interest in subjects such as that, those whose strong suit may not be academia, are shamed as well. There really is no in between.
While mocking girls and their phases can be fun for a minute, it does more damage than intended. Taking what people love, whether it’s Starbucks or smoking weed, and then adding such a stigma to it that people feel ashamed to express every part of their personality, who they truly are. We live in a society of stereotypes, of making assumptions about someone’s intelligence and demeanor based on a few actions and physical appearance. Change comes when you learn to leave the stigma behind and when you open your mind to accepting everyone regardless of how “basic” they are. So stop unfairly judging teenage girls. Stop giving them the world’s highest expectations, and laughing when they fall short. As Cecilia in The Virgin Suicides says when the doctor tells her she doesn’t know how hard life can be, “Obviously, Doctor, you’ve never been a 13-year-old girl.”
