What exactly does “spraaang break” entail? No it isn’t exactly like the movie- there’s a little less Riff Raff and weaponry but the same idiotic behavior lives on. The shotgunning, the bare-chested frat boys, bikini clad ADPi’s, AChiO’s, and GPhi’s, and superfluous amounts of $5 5 gallon bottles of bottom shelf tequila. All this amounts to the friendly reminder that a college education doesn’t always equal common sense.
So here’s a list of all the mind-numbing, asinine, “total frat boy” moves that were pulled (and are still being pulled) this spring break 2017:
1. The “shark shotgun”.
Yes this actually happened. Yes the shark is still alive. And actually no- the guy isn’t a frat boy (but the douche-ery is still there). This Florida school student used a live sharks teeth to open up his Michelob Ultra for a shotgun and in their opinion, a grade A snapchat. This 9 second video also included congratulations and praise from his friend that was recording. Aside from blatant animal cruelty, lack of respect for the animal and himself, this is just extra. Like really? You needed to use a beautiful animal to get some likes or more views on your story or even a little fame? Pathetic. Posted by the Instagram account, @tfmspringbreak, the video went viral which lead to a lengthy Facebook apology from the wrong-doer himself, describing that he “loves animals and has pets at home”. Not a very convincing argument dude.
2. Chanting “Build the Wall”…wait for it…WHILE IN MEXICO. (or even chanting it at all)
Ah yes, hypocrisy at it’s finest. “Build the wall!!”…but after I finish endangering innocent animals, littering pristine beaches, possibly contracting some type of STD, and strenuously exercising my non-American freedom of drinking legally. According to the local Mexico newspapers, Yucatan Times, a hoard of American “spring breakers” chanted the offensive and repulsive phrase repeatedly, even continuing after Mexican passengers complained. God bless the US of A.
3. Jumping into a tank of sharks
Why the sharks again? This guy may or may not have been pushed into the tank at Atlantis in the Bahamas. Leave the damn sharks alone!!
4. The starfish luge
Back at it again with the use of sea creatures for recreational drinking purposes! Pouring alcohol into an ornate and intricate ice sculpture? Sure, why not. Using boobs as a luge? I mean during spring break…sure? Using a starfish…a living creature…minding its own business? Absolutely not.
At the end of the day I’m not trying to bash “spraaang break”. I’m so in favor of living it up. After all, college is our prime time. What I am trying to say is to enjoy spring break and all its boozy, boob-y, sunburnt, and drunken glory. But do so without being completely and utterly deplorable, mindless, and disrespectful. And for God’s sake, leave the animals alone. Long live spring break.
