This is based on my personal experiences. I am in no way trying to say this is how all Lantix’s treat others, this is from the experiences I have faced in my life and how I learned/am learning from them.
Your parents came over from the Dominican Republic to the United States in the early 1990s with the idea of starting a new life for their children. They wanted their children to not have to worry about walking miles on rocky roads to get to school and to have an education past the 5th grade level. The United States was that beacon of hope that pushed them to keep moving forward, overcoming all obstacles, hoping that all of this will help your sister and yourself to live the easiest life you could possibly live.
Growing up surrounded by your extended family always around meant hanging out with your cousins, many of whom were older than you, almost daily. When you communicated with them, you practically always spoke in English, since they were attending school and that was the language they used most. When you spoke with you parents, you spoke in Spanish. However, as you got older, you preferred to only speak in English and on the occasion you did speak Spanish, you were criticized for sounding “white” and not Latina enough.
I am writing to tell you that just because you sounded “too white” doesn’t mean you aren’t Dominican. Just because you were born in the United States doesn’t mean you aren’t Dominican.
“Just because you don’t fit the stereotypical norms of the typical Latina doesn’t mean you aren’t from a Latinx background, and you shouldn’t be ashamed for being who you are.”
For years you have taught yourself to hate your curly hair because it wasn’t pin-straight like your mom or like the other girls at school, or you hated people telling you that you have “pelo como una bruja.” You were ashamed to speak in Spanish or to visit your native country because of the looks you would get, being called “la gringa” in the family constantly. You were ashamed of the fact you didn’t like some of the food eaten from your native country like your sister did, or the fact you didn’t know how to dance correctly. You took it upon yourself to hide away these feelings of resentment upon your culture as a defense mechanism because you were so insecure about what others said.
Lots of heat damage, straighteners, and Spanish classes years later, I can tell you that the people who judged you were wrong. It’s okay to have curly hair (even though you still struggle mentally leaving it out natural). It’s okay to not have the perfect Spanish accent when you speak, as long as you speak it fluently is amazing in and of itself. It’s okay to not know how to dance, learning turned out to be easier with lots (and I mean lots) of practice.
As you grow older and learn more about the Dominican Republic and the millions who inhabit it, you will realize how truly vibrant and beautiful the culture is. No one should have had so much control over your emotions to the point where you were upset to be who you were.
I promise that things get easier, you are an Dominican-American, and your parent’s incredible heritage will live on through you.
