You’re inches away from the cutest guy you’ve ever met. Okay, maybe a little dramatic, but close enough. He keeps giving you those eyes, and you can’t help but think to yourself, “Damn, he just might be different.”
He looks you up and down one more time, before he smirks and says, “You’re so different, you know that?” Trying to hide yourself blushing, you try to be casual and ask, “Oh really? How so?”
It all seems like innocent flirting until the next words out his mouth are,
“I’m not usually into Indian girls, but you’re actually pretty,”
Wait–what?
Did he just say what I think he did? Was that supposed to be a compliment? What is he trying to say about all other Indian girls?
If you’ve been in this situation, you know how common it is. You get your typical, seemingly decent guy until he blurts out the infamous back handed compliment. And the worst part is, most times they never understand why what they’re saying is wrong.
What guys need to realize is, we are not your token. Us women of color are not your “cinnamon baby”, “exotic girl”, and we’re certainly not the only pretty exception of our entire race. Not only with Indians, this comment is made about many WOC and their respective backgrounds.
The icing on the cake is that this doesn’t always come from non POC men. In fact, many times this comment is made from guys of the same race as the intended recipient. Especially in the Indian community, many guys have internalized racist views against Indian women, without even realizing it. It seems to be a trend that guys deem women of their own race unattractive, when in reality WOC are some of the most beautiful women out there. And so when they find a girl they think is “different”, they think they are doing her a favor by even showing interest in her, since he’s usually “not into (insert ethnicity) girls”.
I can assure you though, we have absolutely no desire to hear about your subtle racism. We don’t give a damn about how “special” you think we are. Either give us a real genuine compliment that doesn’t comment on our skin or your racial prejudice on the rest of our people, or don’t tell us anything at all. Sincerely, tired and simply unimpressed, women of color everywhere.
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