Several times I have been sitting trying to understand what goes through this person’s I love brain, attempting to figure out the kind of thoughts that go through their mind and has kept them in a dark and horrible void for the last couple years. I’ve been there but not for this long so at some point my frustration starts growing and developing into hate but not towards them but towards the illness that has destroyed their smile, their will to go on and even our relationship.
Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems, this according to a concept by Mayo Clinic.
At first I told myself it would only take time, I understand everyone is different and disorders and illnesses can be intensified from one person to the other so I couldn’t actually compare my own involvement with depression to theirs, I could show empathy but still to this day I haven’t understood completely their entire situation.
Support from the people who love and appreciate them can make a huge difference on someone dealing with depression nonetheless it can often be emotionally and physically fatiguing, it doesn’t mean we don’t love them anymore or we are “done” with them because that’s not the case. The situation is that there needs to be a counterbalance in between supporting the person and taking care of our own well-being.
Some advice to take into consideration:
- Taking time out is crucial at times, as someone who is taking care and experiencing the illness first hand is important to unwind on some way, because otherwise, the emotional and physical drain won’t help get the other person better.
- Try not to isolate yourself, talk to other family members and friends about the situation even to a counselor if you are not comfortable telling someone you know, there’s a lot of organizations that support caregivers all over the world and can help you on this important role you are taking.
- You can’t rescue someone from depression, you can’t make it go away or fix it yourself. It’s very important to understand that it is your own decision to support and take care of the loved one but you are not the one to blame if the person is not getting better, or for their lack of happiness.
- Be considerate towards the other person, sometimes is a thousand times better to listen and be empathic towards the other person than to try to give advice or fix things, just by talking to someone and be willing to help can make a difference, be persistent but amiable.
