Sometimes it’s hard to tell when a friendship is over, and even harder to admit it. Oftentimes, it’s difficult to acknowledge that someone is not a good friend simply because you’ve known them a long time.
Moving away from home is an important moment in realising who your true friends are, and who does and doesn’t have your back. It’s times like this that it’s important to learn to let friendships go. There are a few signs that this is what you might need to do.
They are no longer supportive, they seem to tear you down
Sometimes, your friends get passive aggressive, and it’s not always obvious why — it might just be because they’re resenting a friendship that is no longer there. If you come back from a hangout sesh and think… ‘Wow, they were being bitchy’, it’s probably because they were. Oftentimes, we get tired of the friendship for reasons that aren’t exactly clear, it’s in these instances that the friendship is negative, even toxic, and needs to be dropped.
If you feel like you have to act a certain way in order to feel accepted by them, then don’t.
You hate the person you are when you’re with them
If you feel like you have to act a certain way in order to feel accepted by them, then don’t. If you end up saying things you really don’t mean, but feel like it’s the only way they’ll like you, then it doesn’t feel that friendly. It’s so much better when your friends build you up and make you feel good about yourself. Don’t surround yourself with bad people for the sake of having ‘friends’.
You’re always the one to reach out
Friendships are always about give and take, and when you move away, friendships often drift apart. Sometimes, you need to just suck it up and say you miss someone. However, when it’s always you, and you don’t seem to get much in response, then it might be time to stop wasting your time and energy on someone that isn’t even thinking about you. If a friendship stops because you stop communicating, then it probably wasn’t really a friendship to begin with.
Or worse, you forget to reach out
It’s definitely sad when the person that you used to turn to first when something important happens, ends up being the person that makes you think, “Oh, haven’t I told you?” When you’re forgetting to tell them about important moments in your life, and you end up finding out through social media, it’s clear you don’t communicate as much as you used to.
You are strained when you do hang out
You know those awful times when you literally have to plan conversations in your head because you know otherwise the conversation just won’t flow. Wow, we’ve discussed the weather for 20 minutes. Why are we friends again?
It feels too much like a forced thing
Sometimes friendships don’t end in malice. A lot of the time you end up meeting out of habit rather than out of want. If it feels like you’re just checking in, like you do with your aunt on Facebook from time to time, then as yourself why you’re bothering. If it feels like it’s just because you have to, then maybe don’t bother.
This isn’t to say that you should cut off every person that you haven’t talked to in a month. In a lot of friendships, you can go months without talking and still feel like best friends when you see each other. But when it’s no longer fun to be friends, and it’s more effort than it’s worth, then it might just be time to let it go.
