Dear my toxic former best friend,
It has come to this. It has come so far that I am writing you a letter you will never see because I don’t want you to see it. But, I’m going to pretend that this letter will be given to you so I am going to pour my thoughts into it.
You have been nothing but, let’s be frank, a horrible friend. The definition of a friend is “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection”. You haven’t been remotely nice to me for a while now. People change over four years — especially when the four years are the four years one is in high school — and I wasn’t expecting our friendship to stay the same by any means.
What I was expecting to stay the same was the basic principle of trust that we shared. I can’t remember the last time I actually told you something of substance that meant something to me that I wanted to share with you because you were my friend.
Freshman year was a great year. I met you in science class and instantly we clicked. We did everything together – sleepovers, homework, texting, sharing secrets no one else knew, making memories and crafting inside jokes between the two of us. Then, something changed. As we grew up, we grew out of each other. Or I think I grew out of you. The friendship we shared was like a two-way street that morphed into a one-way street. I was the only one putting any effort into the thing we called being best friends.
When you are friends, especially best friends, with someone you are supposed to love, support and be there for them. When was the last time you did that? What did I do to make you hate me so much?
One reason I don’t want to associate myself with you anymore is because you are extremely self-centered. And let’s make something clear: I have always been there for you, even when you didn’t talk to me for two months, even when you ignored me when I asked you what we should do for prom, then force me to change my plans the day of because you felt needy.
But this thing we called a friendship was completely one-sided. You make everything about you. Even when I’m not talking to you and am in a completely different conversation with other people, you still manage to insert yourself and your opinions into the discussion. You constantly make me feel like I am a bad friend when it’s your fault things went awry. When you make a mistake, instead of fessing up to it you blame me.
You reeled me in and caught me, but now I want out. I want out of this toxic relationship, this friendship that has not been one for almost a year now. Now that we are going our separate ways in college, I hope to God that you understand that I don’t want to be your friend anymore.
Because I can’t be your best friend if you can’t be mine. I can’t be your friend if you don’t know how to be a friend back.
Have a good life,
The girl you made hate you
