Breakups are always hard for everyone involved, especially when the breakup isn’t caused by problems within the relationship, but due to outside factors. A main cause for breakups, especially as school season begins, is college. Pre-college breakups are particularly difficult because a majority of them originate from wanting your significant other to get the full “college experience”, not wanting to hold them back, or even not wanting to risk greater heartbreak in the future attempting a long distance relationship. Because the breakup comes from a place of love rather than hatred it can take a toll on one’s physical and mental health. Having made almost every mistake in the pre-college relationship book I have first-hand knowledge on how to reduce some of the long-term pain.
Make a decision and stick to it
If you make the decision to break up, stick to it. I can tell you from first-hand experience, breaking up and getting back together multiple times not only prolongs the pain but also prevents you from moving on. Now I’m not saying you should never get back together with your ex, there are situations where it is perfectly fine (in my opinion), however at this time you and your ex both need space and it is not the time to be unclear about what you both need. Always keep in mind your reasoning for the breakup. You both made a decision for a reason in the first place, trust yourself and your initial opinion.
Be upset
It is completely expected and understandable to be sad after a hard break up. Instead of trying to hide the fact that you are heartbroken, take a few days and mope and eat ice cream, watch bad movies, listen to that sad playlist you made and just allow yourself to take it all in. While this won’t stop you from being sad in the future, it will lessen the intensity overall.
Focus on yourself
Take your newfound alone time to find a new hobby or activity you enjoy. For me it was going to the gym, something about working the sadness and anger out was cathartic and I believe it made a huge difference to my attitude to when I was just moping on the couch watching trashy rom coms. Some things you could try are art, exercise, pick up an instrument, treat yourself to a shopping spree, writing, or even reading new books. Instead of letting your breakup weaken you, take the opportunity to grow from and make the best of the situation.
Overall, there is no shame in being sad about a breakup. That said, take your time and work through it the way that is best for you and you only.
