So, you’re a minority. This means you know all the struggles, right?
Wrong.
Hate to break it to you, but simply being a part of a minority group does not grant you an automatic pass on educating yourself about people in other groups. Vague statements about how much you think the world needs love are great on paper, but if you only think of the world’s injustices when they smack you in the face, sorry, but you’re not an ally, even if you are a member of a marginalized group. We all, regardless of membership, have certain privileges. While we must continue in the fight to justify ourselves in our own identities, that does not mean we can be complacent when others face injustices.
Now, not all of us have money or time to spend fighting every injustice and every problem, but there’s more to being an ally than a few words on social media in the event of a crisis, or making the situation all about you and your struggles as a minority. Maybe you don’t know where to start.
Educate yourself first. Before you can begin to speak out in places other than social media, make sure you are well versed on at least a few specific topics other than the one that you are most familiar with, and know how to connect the dots on a series of others. Do remember that you don’t have to know everything, but even when confronted with people who challenge your values, you should let them know that you are willing to learn, because it is important.
You MUST alienate hatred of other groups. This means not tolerating it in your close friend groups, and selecting friends/building upon relationships that promote healthy social views. Not everyone has to think or believe the same things; however, it does not help you learn and grow as an ally if one of your best friends is homophobic. You need to push people away who have hateful ideologies if educating them is not possible. There’s no room for “But I’m (minority) so I get it”.
No tolerance policy. There’s a difference between ignoring hateful comments from people not worth educating (strangers, people you will not have regular interactions with or people whose resistance to social change may cause you personal danger), but in your own circles of friends and even family, figure out ways to call out oppressive ideals and behaviors. You will have to do this more than once. Make it clear that you will not tolerate jokes and slander of any marginalized communities. This doesn’t make you a hardass or a prude; it makes you a person who considers substance. Jokes and slander contribute to internalized stereotypes of marginalized groups.
Start conversations. If you are prone to having deeper talks with friends or family, organically bring up ideas of social justice, straying away from the ones you identify with. Speak and listen equally to completely understand where the other person is coming from. They likely believe they are right and have been right for years until you challenge them to see differently. There are many types of oppression, and many different histories to go along with that oppression.
It is easiest to understand our own struggles in society; thinking this qualifies you as an overarching minority voice is wrong, however. There are still homophobic people of color, racist LGBT+ people, ableist females, classist disabled folks, xenophobic transpersons, etc. Many of us have intersecting identities, but no matter who you are, there is always a way to be a better, more effective ally.
