As the years have progressed, we have become more and more reliant on technology, particularly in conversation with texting and other alternative platforms such as WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, Kik and a myriad of others. With the eclecticism of messaging apps, we have numerous ways of connecting with friends and family and can communicate with each other often at a rapid pace. Although this is amazingly convenient, sometimes we rely on others to get back to us instantly and when we get left on “read,” it can be seen as a personal attack, which is an unhealthy way of thinking.
I get it, having your message overlooked can be annoying and can raise anxiety, leaving you questioning whether you have done something wrong and you’re the problem or jumping to the conclusion that your friend doesn’t care about you, yet many people’s top priority is not replying to your texts but bigger problems they have to tackle. We tend to forget that others don’t spend their lives glued to their phones and getting back to people right away because there are so many means of communication we are able to use and that’s where social media has disillusioned us. People can’t be available to us 24/7 and if they don’t reply, it’s not the fact that they don’t care but they are preoccupied with real life.
I am guilty of possessing this mentality. The only way I can justify it is that I am an only child living outside of my social circle so messaging is my only manner of conversing and that I enjoy doing as I can spend a bit more time to think about a response as opposed to face-to-face communication. However, I would assume the worst if my message gets read without an answer and consequently force guilt on the other person which in effect actually ruined many friendships I once had because it was brewing such unnecessary negative energy. I fell out with people due to my incessant need to talk to people via text and looking at it on paper, it is as lame as it sounds. As much as I would’ve liked the effort to be reciprocated, it can’t be put into practice since instant replies just aren’t on many people’s agenda. It wasn’t until I was on the other side of the situation that I realized that how I was acting was dangerous to my social life.
Some may think “You wouldn’t ignore someone mid-conversation in person so why do it over text?” and this is true to an extent, you wouldn’t just walk away whilst someone is talking to you and if you do, there’s a problem. But one great positive about texting is that people can go at their own pace and respond when they are able. Besides, if you really want to talk to someone, meet up with them, grab a coffee together, invite them over or do something together. As daunting as verbal conversation can be sometimes, it’s the best way to sustain a strong friendship. And if they don’t reply to your offers, don’t take it as a personal attack, plus there’s nothing wrong with being with yourself so make the most of keeping yourself company.
