Straight Hair Is Not the Standard

I was born with straight hair. Up until puberty, I had straight hair and it was fine. After all, straight hair is considered to be beautiful in Desi culture, at least in the Desi culture that I grew up with. But when puberty hit, my hair become puffier, curly and the exact opposite of what it used to be. After that came the negative comments. I was talked to about straightening my hair, I was told my hair is frizzy (in a derogatory way), I was told that I was beautiful with my hair tied back and I was told to do something about my hair.

While, for the most part, those times are gone and the negative comments have been replaced by positive ones, sometimes I think of them. I’ve learned to love and appreciate my hair, but I still remember how deeply these words have affected me. About how my natural hair was seen as something that was wrong, as something that needed to be fixed, simply because it was not straight.

It could seem like that I am overreacting, but I’m really not.

In recent news, Denise Robinson from Dracut, Massachusetts complained about the fact that her daughter’s hair was cut off without permission. Tru, Robinson’s daughter, was taken to a salon by a clinician in the Little Heroes Home program, where her hair cut to the point where she became almost bald. Robinson has decided to sue the program.

Before her hair was cut, Tru had curly hair. Someone who worked at the program stated that the haircut was for hygienic reasons, but that’s not all. Apparently, Tru was told not to worry, that her hair would grow back straight after it was shaved off.

Let me repeat that. This little girl was told not to worry and that her hair would grow back straight.

Whatever the reason was for cutting Tru’s hair, it is not okay to cut a little girl’s hair without permission. It is not okay to embarrass a child like that and it is certainly not okay to tell her that her hair will grow back straight, suggesting that the opposite of what her hair originally is is what is considered to be beautiful and clean.

After learning about Tru and what happened to her, I remembered all the comments that had been said to me. These negative comments were not just little comments. These comments are the normalization of people thinking they can do or say what they want about someone else’s hair/body. It is the normalization of a standard that caters towards European features, it is the normalization of bullying people over their appearances, it is the normalization of taking away people’s power by imposing a societal beauty standard upon them.

We need to try to do better. We need to understand that it is not okay to say mean things about someone’s appearance, even if we are trying to give them what we feel is good advice. It’s not appropriate and it’s not kind and it can definitely leave a negative impact on the person that could last for a long time.