“New year, new me.”
That phrase that we tend to hear each year, every single New Year’s Eve. I can recall starting to believe in this phrase in middle school; how a simple change of numbers and an extra day could transform a whole person and make them someone they’re not- kinder, gentler, more loving, or maybe full of hatred and jealousy.
That phrase used to be my muse, I believed in it wholeheartedly. I believed that every single year you can start over, that maybe it was some gift from above to let you redeem your bad deeds and be a better person, but it was bound by specific dates and timings, which back then, felt right. Everything had to go by a schedule. Every year, every 1st of January to be specific, I’d let go of my “past” self, and be a completely brand new me. Or convince myself that I’m now brand new. That the old, flawed version of myself is no longer there. That now I could be the person I’ve always wanted to be, simply because time allows it. Time told me it was a brand new year, go be a brand new person.
And for a while, I believed Time. I believed Time when it told me that it’s a one-year chance. I believed Time when it slowly but fiercely approached me and told me “You have to change, now.” I believed Time when I had no one else but it, telling me my next year is my next chance, to seize the day! For it’s the last day of the year, you get to be someone else tomorrow.
But now, “New year, new me.” doesn’t make much sense to me. I don’t know how I was so fooled by it. Or why. I liked the idea of change so much I thought I needed a time-plan. A schedule.
But change doesn’t come on time. Change doesn’t have a schedule. It shouldn’t. The truth is, you decide when you want to change, when you want a “new me”. You don’t have to want it if you like who you are now. But if you don’t, you don’t get to wait for a year to change or be whoever you want to be.
Start right now. Start with loving your flaws and understanding yourself, setting goals and working towards them. Start with becoming everything you need in the way you view your ideal self. Start with the bits and pieces. Don’t wait. Drop toxic friendships, relationships. Get it done now. Get it together. Time ain’t got nothing on you.
Or stay wherever you are, whoever you are. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to change just because everyone else is. It’s okay to move at your own pace. It’s okay to make your own decisions. You should do that.
At the end of the day, it’s not new year, new me, change should come “whenever I feel like it.”
