Having the ability to proclaim that you are a twin is kind of a party trick. For as long as I can remember, people have asked me age-old questions such as, “if one of you gets hurt, can the other feel it?” or, “can you read each other’s minds?” After years of finishing each other’s sentences and raiding the other’s wardrobe, I’ve learned to appreciate these kinds of questions because frankly, being a twin is actually kind of cool.
Growing up, having a twin was sort of like having a secret weapon. The feeling of walking into your classroom on the first day with bubbling nervousness mixed with anticipation or the anxiety over making friends was always foreign to me. Maybe not by choice, but my sister and I inevitably shared the same experiences. We carpooled together, slept in the same room, and had the same friends. But this seemingly duplication of life had its downfalls, too.
Though fraternal, people often assumed we were identical, not just physically but mentally too. This continued to confuse me as we both had notably unique appearances, I was known as “the one with the curly hair”, and my sister as “the straight-haired one”. It was obviously understandable for people to mess up our names with the occasional slip of the tongue, which is common among siblings, but being obviously fraternal it had an underlying damaging effect.
Did people think of us as a unit rather than individuals because of the ‘twin’ label, or did they not care enough to realize that we were two different and unique people? Though I have come to terms with being called “The Twins”, I sometimes convinced myself that I would never be my own person. This became such a normality to me that I often wouldn’t even correct people that called me by my sister’s name.
I soon realized that this process of individualization is a long one, not just for twins, but for everyone. Though it may have taken us some extra time, having to work harder to literally make a name for myself has only made me more confident in who I am. This sense of deserving came after years of saying “we” instead of “I.”
As we both grew older, we began to acknowledge our unique differences. At the surface, yes, we both enjoy similar music and hang out with the some of the same people. But beneath that, we are two different people, who happen to be twins. So to answer your questions, no we have never switches places to confuse our teachers, we do not match our clothing, and we cannot communicate telepathically. Though we do not have the superpowers of the misconceptions of what it’s like to be a twin, having a best friend for life (sometimes not by choice), is powerful enough.
