Since forever, women have been actively debunking the fallacy that they wear make-up for the approval of men. Many reasons could lead men to reach this false conclusion, mainly being that most see themselves as so self-important, righteous and entitled that a woman would obviously spend great deals of money and hours trying to perfect something to attract to the Male species (Oh, and don’t forget, she’s a slut for doing that as well)
As a boy, I was taught a simple formula: Success = Women. From family members to my teachers and sports coaches, I was taught that excellence in any field guaranteed attention from the opposite sex. Girls became an object for motivation. “Get a nice body, because you know how girls ‘love’ six-packs.” “Don’t be lazy and get fat or else you’ll have trouble getting girls to like you.” “Get over your anxiety/depression, girls don’t find that attractive.” Growing up, much of how boys’ personality, hobbies, and dress were shaped, were largely informed by what they were told women will think of you.
This evolved while attending a boy’s only High school. During the first few years, your ‘manliness’ and social capital was mainly dependent on the girls you made out with, how many of their numbers you had and how many of them you’re ‘vibing’ with. And not just any women, if you’re hooking up with a girl she can’t be taller than you, fat, ugly, have acne, have hooked up with other guys in your grade, or ratchet (which in most cases meant any Black girl). If the girl you hooked up with fitted any of the aforementioned categories it didn’t hold any bearing towards your ‘body count’ because she was either a slut or was ‘too easy’. Male promiscuity was praised in our circles but if a girl dared to have the same ‘body count’ she was instantly labelled a slut. Ultimately for boys, a ‘body count’ is a sign of your dominance, something to brag about. For girls, it’s a tool used to slut-shame them.
Within marketing, the male libido isn’t only encouraged but is marketable. Clubs and Bars have ‘Ladies Nights’, women are sold as the commodity in which to attract male customers. It entails that since drinks will be free/cheaper, it equates to more drunk girls with lowered inhibitions which make them increasingly susceptible to sexual assault. The same victims of sexual assault are then blamed for getting drunk and putting themselves in that position in the first place. This is blatant rape culture and what makes it even worse is that it’s appropriated and perpetuated.
So why would an uninformed hyper-masculine manly-man think that women wear make-up for his approval? Because if not for him, then who? Within his hyper-masculine mentality and over-inflated ego, he’s subconsciously entitled himself to women. He followed the clear, calculated formula of overt masculinity that guaranteed him sex which was instilled in him before he had his first wet dream. Everything he sees teaches him that women exist for him, so it’s only fair that they would try and seduce him and his irresistible bravado with dresses and hours of make-up.
Male entitlement to women’s bodies is the root of rape culture. We’re infected with it since childhood and it permeates into rapists, misogynists, and overtly manly-meninists doused in Axe body spray. Society needs to stop telling men that women are rewards for success. We need to unlearn that women orientate their lives around us and seek our approval. We have to stop teaching young boys that “persistence is key” and that if they annoy a girl long enough she’ll eventually like him. We need to teach Men that female bodies matter and do not exist for us. Manners, gifts, drinks, muscles, and wealth doesn’t entitle you to a women’s body nor her attention. Men need to be taught to develop our own non-gendered personhood, regardless of supposed female acceptance/rejection or adherence to the hypermasculine rulebook to what makes you a man.
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