Before I start writing about such a delicate subject, I want to say that I love my parents and that I am proud of being a latina. I am not trying to say that all latino parents are terrible people, I am just letting the world know that there’s a violent type of raising that many latinos embrace, and it’s something that we need to talk about.
The world is way more Americanized than what many people may think. Often, something that happens in the United States will sooner or later emerge in Latin America as well. For example, when the United States Child Rights started to rise, it did too in Latin America and a new type of non-violent parenting started to take shape. Nevertheless, violent parenting is still a very active problem in the region.
UNICEF states that in LatinAmerica 6 million kids suffer from domestic violence and 80 thousand die a year because of it. Some statistics that the organization released regarding the percentage of kids from each country that have received physical violence by their families are; Argentina;55%(2000-2001), Bolivia; 83%(2007), Chile; 75.3%(2006), Colombia; 42%(2005), Ecuador; 51%(2005), Peru; 41%(2000), Uruguay; 82%(2008), Costa Rica; 65.3%(2003).
“Older generations tend to believe that American types of raising children are ridiculous, that all a kid needs is a “good beating”. What is not taken into account is the psychology of these beatings, the trauma that they evoke.”
The truth is, latinos do not see physical violence against their kids as child abuse and they don’t see it as a reason to be ashamed either. It’s something openly admitted and proudly taken as a big part of our culture. When you go to a supermarket, bank or any public space and you see a kid “putting up a show”, you can be sure you’ll hear a comment like “My mom would’ve taken my teeth out of my mouth if I did that”. And even in any kind of website or joke latino account, you can be sure you’ll see at least one of these typical memes; “Behind every well-educated kid there’s a mother with flip-flops and a good aiming” or “The legend says that thanks to a belt, most of us are not; lazy, criminals or bad people”. This references the problematic notion that both flip-flops and belts are commonly used as weapons against the children.
Older generations tend to believe that American types of raising children are ridiculous, that all a kid needs is a “good beating”. What is not taken into account is the psychology of these beatings, the trauma that they evoke. What concerns me the most is the fact that this violence is considered the only parenting method that actually works.
To young adults out there: do you remember what it felt like? Not only the pain but the humiliation. Do you remember the desperation when you knew that in a few seconds that belt was going to touch your skin and that you couldn’t escape from it? And worse, not knowing how long it would last? I’m sure that those memories don’t bring out smiles and rainbows. That’s because this beloved parenting technique simply is not right.
Maybe it’s time to leave this incredibly flawed and archaic thinking aside and follow the “Gringo” steps for once. Choose compassion, patience, communication and understanding for new generations of healthy and happy kids.
