Let’s talk about this “Chivalry is not dead!” anthem floating around in regards to Ed Sheeran giving his shoes to his girlfriend after her heel broke.
We need to stop worshiping men for doing things what they already should be doing; we cannot praise men for holding open a door. These standards are so low.
It is upsetting to even be reminded that a guy has to think about how to be chivalrous, as though it is such a difficult thing. As human beings, we have the innate desire to do good and to serve others around us, whether it be a guy to a girl or vice versa. Men and women are born with the obligation to give back to the world and society and each one of its lovely, beyond worthy human beings through committing selfless acts (i.e. giving away your shoes when your significant other is in need).
In general, if the man in the relationship does not see a need to be “chivalrous” — if he does not serve his significant other in any way apart from buying her nice things and paying for her meals — then there is a chance that he abusing his male superiority for personal gain, as someone living in a solely patriarchal society — women are not the maids or housekeepers or servants, but both individuals in a relationship need to be contributing in some way in terms of servitude.
Oftentimes men will take advantage of the woman’s desire to serve and treat her man well though making him meals or other things of the sort that tend to relate back to the stereotype of woman as caretaker. This is because the women care about their significant others, and by serving them and taking care of them, they are able to show that. Men, on the other hand, hardly see the need to do the same for their counterparts; they assume that since the woman does all of the cooking, cleaning and serving in general, they have no place there. This is entirely inaccurate and very problematic, and it leads to women feeling overused and abused emotionally, because they are gaining nothing in return.
Men need to be doing the same for their significant others; they need to be caring for and physically serving their loved ones through their actions in every day situations. There is not a line or limit as to what a man should or should not do for a woman — opening a door, offering their shoes, cooking a meal, cleaning up, etc., and there certainly is not a specific time or place when a guy should be doing so.
It is well beyond appreciated when the guy pays for a meal or is extra Prince Charming-esque while out on a date, don’t get me wrong, but it should not end there. Chivalry is a daily, nonstop way of life that every human being should know how to properly apply within their lives and play out in attempt to show their lover affection and ultimately love.
So let’s stop romanticizing particular men for doing simple things like lending a helping hand or being kind or selfless to their date or girlfriend; and let’s not assume that because he does so, he deserves a consistent, personal housekeeper or maid as his companion. As a society striving for equality, both men and women should be showing this chivalry day in and day out. It should not come as a surprise to see a guy doing something sweet or kind or “chivalrous” for his girlfriend.
