From a milkshake at the local diner, to having a sixty day streak on Snapchat, the dating scene for teens has changed dramatically. It seems teens have lost a sense of intimacy when it comes to relationships, and nothing has been done to change the fact. This concept of “talking” has become a subject of interest, but what is it? What is “talking”?

“We’re not dating, we are talking.”

Talking is often referred to as the stage before the commitment is official. It is usually most of that mushy-gushy flirting, half-flirty, half-friendly gestures. Although this might seem pretty innocent and simple. It’s actually very complex and troublesome.

The talking stage leaves a lot of open room for a fall-out later in the future. With this stage’s lack of intimacy this doesn’t give couples a form of commitment, it leaves them to feel almost single. People in these “talking” relationships are often in more than one, not feeling committed to the person they have the relationship with whatsoever. This leaves the idea that emotional cheating is okay due to the fact, “we aren’t actually dating”. This misconception leads to a disastrous path that will only continue to break.

It also brings up the predicament surrounding the fact that some people will move on while others will gain sentimental feelings for the person they’re with. There is not a lot of room for communication in this kind of relationship, so if the ship sails, chances are it’s not coming back.

Relationships[romantic] should hold a sense of commitment and a sense of belonging. The relationship should be capable of communication on thoughts and feelings without the fear that there is someone else(not within the relationship). In this sense “talking” is just not enough. Most of the time throughout these relationships people are left without closure and makes it harder for the person to move on.

Reflecting on almost seventy years ago the dating strategies have evolved greatly. In the 1950’s it wasn’t very common to be in multiple relationships, often they would only be in one or two soon striving for marriage.

 “This concept of “going steady” took on a new meaning in the fifties. Before the war, “going steady” was a stage young people took only if they were seriously on the path to marriage.”

 Now obviously there was expected to be some change in a seventy year time span, but what people didn’t expect was for relationships to no longer have such respectful virtues. While there is no issue with dating many people in order to find ‘the one’ it’s so shocking that some people are no longer genuine within relationships, and this “talking stage” is only making it worse.

Along with the stage itself, social media also has a big role in enhancing it. Social media is a place to express feelings publicly with others, it is also the breeding ground for a lot of these “talking relationships”. From comments on pictures, to subtle direct messages[DM] this is where most of the trouble begins. Many people in order to begin such relationship will do the following actions to multiple people at the same time, not giving consideration if one or more of those people are in acquaintance with each other. This will lead to a lot more drama later on in the relationship.

Looking for love in the adolescent world has become harder as time has gone on. People tend to drop the genuine aspect of a relationship. People find the excuse as “talking” enough to string someone one and to use later. This needs to come to an end as it is tearing the relationship world apart, and all for what? A fear of commitment.