Nowadays, weddings represent the unity of two people that love each and want to be bound together legally. Unfortunately, the idea of partnership wasn’t always what marriage ceremonies embodied. It was centered on creating alliances, expanding family labor, and developing in-laws. Arranged marriages still exist to this day, but first world countries rarely have this problem. There are many traditions we still practice that were originated ages ago. A lot of us don’t know what they even mean. Here are four wedding customs that have sexist backgrounds.
#1 – The White Dress
The color white is an indication of purity, innocence, and symbolizes virginity. Back then, this made sense considering many women waited until they were married to have sex. Somehow, this norm that began in 1840 when Queen Elizabeth designed her own white gown for her wedding with her cousin Prince Albert is still relevant. This shows the underlying expectation we have for women. The more innocent and pure she is, the “better” wife she’d be.
#2 – When the Father Walks the Bride Down the Aisle
It is arguably one of the most beautiful moments when the proud father hands over his beaming daughter to her soon-to-be husband. Nowadays, it shows the close bond between a woman and her parent. Historically, daughters and wives were possessions of the family. The father “giving away” his daughter to another man was merely a business transaction as it is widely known that fathers and husbands were the heads of their households.
#3 – Taking the Husband’s Last Name
A lot of young girls and women dream of taking their crush’s or favorite celebrity’s last name at one point or another, but where did this stem from? It’s the antediluvian tradition of the man being the head of the household, and taking the man’s surname feeds this practice. It seems to be what the majority does without batting an eye. However, it is a personal preference and continuing this is absolutely okay. There are a lot of alternatives to keeping your name or taking your husband’s, such as putting the husband and the wife’s together with a hyphen, creating a name that is a combination of the two, or even picking out a new name completely.
#4 – Throwing the Bouquet
This fun reception game gathers the bridesmaids into a crowd full of tension and giggles, frenziedly hoping they will be the one to catch the bride’s bouquet since legends and tall tales told us that is a sign that she will be the next one to be wed. Is that how strong and independent women want to be portrayed? Bunched together, high heels off, arms raised, and elbows slamming into the girl next to her? When the bouquet is finally thrown and the unlucky participants shrug back to their seats, mumbling “maybe next times,” it is acted like getting a man to marry you is the ultimate goal, the final ride to true happiness. You don’t have to take this thought so seriously though, but it’s always helpful to know the wider implications of these traditions.
Feminism is a lot about choices, so having a full out traditional wedding doesn’t make you any less of a feminist! For those who have a certain curiosity of why we do some things we do, this is for you. Maybe is will inspire you to come up with traditions of your own, or construct a completely unconventional wedding day for you and your partner! It is all your own choice
