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Asexual People Aren’t Invisible

Written by Batrishia Anaqah

There is stillness in the atmosphere tonight. The air smells of candy corn, melted chocolate, and spare change stuck at the bottom of the bag by pre-chewed gum. It’s not even sunset but the kids are already running around, albeit a little more bored than they’re willing to admit to; their candy bags are never full because they’re already sneaking some on the way to the next house.

This year, I’m dressing up, too! As something fictional, mythical – something so alien and obscure that most of society today can’t seem to wrap its head around. Donned in my regular jeans and t-shirt, I’m coming to celebrate Halloween as myself, an asexual.

If you’re bisexual, asexual, or pansexual, you’re in luck every Halloween. Who needs a costume when we’re already mythical creatures to most of the world! From the ‘A’ in LGBTQIA+ being acknowledged as ‘Ally’ to bisexuals being told they’re not welcome in the community, what’s more “satisfying” than being excluded? It might not seem like a big deal to a lot of people but unless you’re bi, ace, or pan, you can’t really tell us how offended we should feel.

Take the popular LGBT+ event in Singapore as an example. It’s great that there are people in my country that believe in celebrating the different sexualities and all that but I can’t accept one fatal flaw of this event. They think ‘A’ stands for Ally. This is a common mistake made by many and by now you’d think I’d have gotten used to it. Nope. Most of the times, this mistake is understandable but when it’s made by a huge professional organisation, that’s where we should draw the line. What’s even more unnerving is that when I tell my friends about this issue, they dismiss it and casually say, “Well, at least there’s an event. It’s not like we can do anything about it”. It’s disappointing how often I, as an asexual, am told to suck it up and appreciate the mediocrity of most LGBT events.

Asexuals shouldn’t have to settle for the bare minimum. We can’t be forced to stay silent on our struggle because people think our struggles aren’t that important. Instead of trying to enforce the idea of sex being necessary for a healthy relationship, why don’t we start seeing asexuals as people and not bodies? Respect that some asexuals feel uncomfortable with the topic of sex. Understand that while we’re not exactly attracted to the idea of intercourse, we still know how to appreciate beautiful people. Don’t be dense and question us when we point out someone that’s physically attractive. We don’t need to put on our special Attractive People™ goggles to know when someone’s attractive. Stop showing us pictures of different topless men and/or women and asking if we’d really not “do it” with them. Stop making us do random online tests to prove our asexuality. Stop treating us as though we’re emotionle

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