Everyone’s favorite 90’s sitcom to watch on Friday nights was definitely ‘Full House.’ Between John Stamos’s lustrous locks and the heart tugging group hugs, it was a family friendly show for all ages until and even after it went off the air. Channels like ABC Family and Nick @ Nite still play reruns. It has been passed down by the generation ahead of us with love. Millennials picked up the timeless catch phrases like ‘How rude!” and “You got it, dude!” It hangs up there with the other 90’s classics, like ‘Friends’ and ‘The Nanny.’
When Netflix announced a reprise of the show, with DJ Tanner as the head of the house this time, I was thrilled. It was my favorite show to watch growing up and I was fascinated by the family dynamic. I was happy to see that there would be a continuation of that for me to enjoy in my late teen years. When the series finally hit Netflix, I was equipped with snacks and more than ready to binge watch. My smile grew as each familiar character popped up on the screen. There was Uncle Jesse with his guitar, Uncle Joey with his funny voices and hilarious impersonations, and Danny with his fixation on keeping things clean. It all felt familiar yet not too outdated. To say I was pleased with the first few episodes would be an understatement; I honestly did fully enjoy it. It isn’t poorly written, it’s tolerably cheesy, and it was fun seeing the Tanner girls as adults with their own careers and own lives.
The show didn’t really raise any red flags for me until DJ’s old boyfriend appeared on screen. They had dated in high school and went to the prom together. They were a steady couple and an audience favorite. I remember watching as a young girl and picturing my high school relationships meeting that same standard of romance. Scott Weinger reprised his role as the fun-loving, excitable, and always hungry Steve Hale. At first, he was portrayed as understanding that DJ wasn’t ready to date after her husband’s death and reassured her that he would be waiting for her when the time was right. It wasn’t a big eyebrow raiser at that point, it just seemed like a plot device to further character development and romantic relationships. But Steve became periodically creepier throughout the series. He was overly obsessed with dating DJ and kept an eerily close eye on her. He even showed up at her workplace, concerned about his dog (she helps run an animal clinic), and then became territorial over her once he noticed her attractive male coworker. He becomes immediately concerned with this and basically forgets about the actual reason he came into the clinic. He urges DJ to set this male coworker up with her best friend, Kimmy, so that he can guarantee that she stays single for him. When this plan falls through, he still checks up on her, unabashedly and continuously asking if she’s seeing anyone. He even insinuates that they are on a date as they are walking their dogs when she clearly didn’t consent to an actual date. Even though his obsession with DJ is intended to come off as comical, it tends to come off as disturbing and slightly annoying. I was genuinely happy to see him reprise his role as Steve and was prepared to support their relationship, but his possessive behavior ruined it for me.
As if one instance of an overly obsessive male character wasn’t enough, it seemed like the writers had to throw in another one, just for good measure. DJ’s aforementioned best friend, Kimmy Gibbler, is in the middle of divorcing her husband with whom she shares the custody of a daughter with. This man, Fernando, had apparently cheated on her a couple of times during their marriage and she filed for legal separation. Kimmy moves into the Tanner house to help DJ raise her three boys and Fernando reappears sporadically. He tells her a couple of times that he will always love her and that he’ll never find anyone else who is as worthy as her, even after she rejects his advances. We even catch him trying to get her back at a nightclub, dancing and reminiscing with her until his actual date returns. Of course upon seeing his date, Kimmy is infuriated and ditches him to dance with DJ instead. After a few episodes of him begging and pleading with her to take him back despite his past mistakes, she gives in, apparently unable to resist his charm. Fast forward a few episodes and we see that he has planned a romantic scavenger hunt for her, leading her to a final destination: the divorce papers. He passes them over to a confused Kimmy and then he explains to her that he will sign the papers since that is what she has been wanting from him for the past two years. She signs them and then he exclaims that since they are officially divorced now, they can remarry and start anew. His constant presence in her life, especially at the beginning when it was clear that she didn’t want him around, left me feeling uneasy and that feeling was only amplified after learning that he refused to sign the divorce papers for two entire years. That means that for two years of their separated life, he kept asking for her back and kept pressuring her into being with him even though she had explicitly told him no multiple times. Again, this is something that is meant to come off as funny and over-dramatic, but as a young adult and as a woman, it only makes me uncomfortable.
We need to stop romanticizing relationships like this in media. We need to stop pretending like an overly persistent man is cute or someone to aspire to. We need to stop making light of relationships where a significant other is crossing boundaries and making the other person feel awkward. We need to start emphasizing that when a girl says no, it means no and that constant begging and attention will not be rewarded. There is nothing funny about it and it is time to start taking this seriously. It’s harassment. It isn’t accepted in real life no matter how funny or romantic writers make it sound on-screen. In my life, I’ve received repetitive messages and threats from ex-boyfriends or boys who have shown interest in me and they have blatantly ignored my rejections to their advances. I have been called countless derogatory names for telling men no. There is nothing adorable about it, trust me. Why would any of us try to pretend like it’s different just because it’s on a TV show? I refuse to accept that; it would feel like too much a cop-out.
Across different mediums, it is our job to be the faces of change. We live in a monkey-see, monkey-do society and television, movies and magazines are the main source of influence on today’s youth. We need to vocalize our disdain with the fact that certain things are being romanticized in the media that shouldn’t be and borderline abusive relationships is one of them. It isn’t ok that we have young girls and boys watching this, learning from this, and possibly attempting to apply it to real life. We shouldn’t be bringing them up with this notion that being relentlessly sought after is normal or with this absurd idea that when a girl tells you no, it really just means that you need to try harder to convince her. ‘Full House’ was always a show that taught life lessons and warmed hearts. I’m very disappointed that they would continue with harmful plot devices instead of instilling a more valuable lesson. Consent and respect are everything and we must communicate to our audiences that when a girl says no, she really does mean no, without exception.
