This week on gross “jokes” that involve the perceived male ownership of women’s bodies, a creepy guy tried to pull a prank by lifting model Gigi Hadid into the air in front of fans and paparazzi.
Gigi, of course, didn’t find this very funny. Maybe it’s because every day, women are grabbed by men in the street not as a “prank”, but rather as a way to assault, rape and violate them. Perhaps she felt she was an autonomous being who deserved to be not be touched by anyone without her consent.
Thinking on her feet, Gigi elbowed the man in the face, wrestled her way out of his arms, and yelled “who are the fuck are you, you piece of shit?” Who said models aren’t known for being articulate?
Regardless of your feelings for Gigi Hadid, her place in the modelling world, and her spot in the public eye, I think we can all agree that no person deserves to be grabbed like that- and it’s very reasonable that she would assume literally being lifted from the ground and into the eyes of a stranger was a threatening gesture.
She had every right to defend herself. She had every right to be defensive and angry about the whole situation. She had every right to be shaken and act “un-ladylike”.
So why hasn’t the media caught on to this? Major media outlets including the Daily Mail have reported that Gigi is not embodying so-called “model” behaviour. So how should she have reacted? Should she have let the man- this random stranger- do whatever he wanted, even if that meant assaulting her, groping her or kidnapping her? Should she have waited in hopes that someone from her entourage or the paparazzi would come to her rescue, even though she herself has a boxing instructor and was capable of defending herself? Should she have been polite and kind to him, and avoided swearing?
All of that is B.S. Women are not only allowed to be violated and harassed by men, but now, we aren’t even allowed to be upset about it. Our bodies are seen as possessions in this male-oriented society, and we are supposed to feel flattered that a man would go out of their way to touch us without permission. Being the recipient of male attention is seen as the ultimate prize, even when the result is being violated or put in harm’s way.
The idea that Gigi should have handled the situation in a “mature” manner only further highlights the rape culture we live in- the expectation of women to be passive healers. We owe it to the people around us to be calm and composed and friendly, others are entitled to our warmth and kindness, and our safety and dignity are put on the backburner. We are not allowed to be fazed and undignified over men using our bodies for their own gain- we should be polite and calm and give him a chance to explain why he felt as though a model’s body was his to touch and grab and lift.
The argument that Gigi should have acted differently knowing there were cameras around is equally disgusting. What about the children? The young fans who will surely see footage of her cursing and shouting?
They should be taught that what happened to Gigi was a crime and a violation that was both non-consensual and a common occurrence for women around the world. We should teach them that the bodies of women like Gigi are not ours to be policed, nor are the emotions of women- we don’t get to say if they should be grateful or polite or happy. We do not get to say how they should feel and respond, especially under such circumstances. It’s even more disturbing that we even consider what the public should feel- celebrities of any kind do not belong to their fans or detractors, and they should never have to frame a snapshot of their life around public perception. The people with cameras didn’t own that moment where Gigi was a badass who could defend herself- Gigi owned that moment, and how she chose to handle it is hers and hers alone.
One final thought: we constantly tell women they should know how to protect themselves. We imply or even outright state that they share responsibility if another person chooses to harm them because they weren’t explicitly prepared for the choices and actions of others. Then, when we see a woman who does protect herself- someone both physically able to and emotionally able to recognize the moment as one of danger- we decide that weren’t polite or gracious enough in their defense, and once again, things are their fault.
All I know is that I saw a young woman defend herself- but it seems as though far too many are confused on who the villain is.
