Let’s Talk About Crushes!

Let’s talk about crushes!

A PAIN IN THE ASS, that’s why they’re called crushes, honey—it isn’t pleasant. I guess as human beings we have this switch in us that enables us to get turned on by this one person beside us who we don’t even know… it’s pretty unfortunate. Here’s advice on how you can try to develop a relationship with your crush.

Step 1: Become an FBI agent. Stalk all of their social media and truly determine whether they’re worth your love or not. Maybe you’ll discover that you have common interests and this can be the deciding factor of whether or not you’ll pursue them. For example, if I find someone eye-catching and I check out their Twitter and they have anything about art on there, I best believe I’m going to start planning my, or, I guess, “our” wedding.

Step 2: Be social. Nowadays social media has killed the fun in talking to someone for the first time. Sometimes it’s hard to go up to your crush, considering they’re basically metaphorically crushing you, but you know what? When you start talking to them, that crush is going to make you pop like some glittery ass confetti.

Step 3: Now go with the flow. If he blows you off, he’s not worth your time or that knot in your stomach. However, if it goes otherwise, go with it make something out of it. You deserve it.

These are the steps you go through if you want your crush to blossom into a relationship, but I’m going to be completely honest: my crush intimidates me. He just sits there and I automatically want to fall into a fetal position, and I don’t understand the math in that but his eyes are just mesmerizing and his sitting position makes my heart ache, you know? Sometimes I can’t breathe. This person is there, like, right there, and the only thing holding me back every time I see him is rejection. Why are we so scared of rejection?

Does rejection scare the hell out of me? Yes, but I’m not scared of him saying no more than I’m scared of someone taking a video of me being rejected and posting it online. The absolute worst scenario is if I unwillingly become a meme and this is terrifying to me.

2017, my resolution is to stop holding myself back. We all deserve to have a little fun and, when you think about it, it’s really harmful; I spend most of my time daydreaming about this person when I can really go out there and do something about it. Let’s say this doesn’t always work out relationship-wise, but at least you made an effort or a new friend outside of the web.

I just wanna have fun and, as human beings, our minds and hearts control us and if they’re the reason you’re alive, then they may be right about the emotions they decide to throw at you. They might be caused by hormones, but, come on, holding yourself back would just be crushing to say the least.

GO OUT THERE AND FACE THIS IRRATIONAL FEAR! THERE’S NOTHING TO LOSE!

(P.S. Next time I see my crush it’s gonna go down.)