I don’t believe love has a true definition. I think that every single person has a different definition of love. There’s a lot of different kinds of love. There’s “the girl next door” kind of love. There’s the “happily ever after” kind of love. Then there’s unrequited love. That’s the kind of love where you love them and they don’t love you. It’s the kind of love you can’t romanticize. And that’s why people don’t talk about it.
This is the kind of love where you fall in love with your best friend and can’t tell them. This is the kind of love that picks away at your insides until it consumes you. Don’t get me wrong, love is beautiful. But love can only be so beautiful until your heart is beating out of your chest and you don’t want it to beat at all. Love has to be something you want to feel and falling in love alone is hard.
Love is supposed to be something you figure out with the other person. It’s hard to figure it out with no help. When you’re in a relationship, you figure it out with the other person. You move together. When the way he moves is all you want and the way you move barely scratches his surface; that’s the worst part.
Unrequited love is all consuming because you have no where for the love to go. There’s no outlet. There’s no expressing how you feel to the other person. It builds up and up in your chest until everytime you open your mouth, the confession almost leaps out of you.
When you fall in love internally, you become much more observant. You can’t say the compliments out loud so you just internalize them. You’re going to notice how it’s like you’re having two different conversations with them because their eyes and the way they gleam form words. You’re going to see how the way they say your name sounds like your favorite song that you’ve never heard. You’re going to feel their laugh dig into you with both satisfaction and resentment. This is because you know what you want but you can’t have it. People in requited love feel all these things too. The only difference is that they can say it out loud and their world won’t come crashing to the ground.
People can’t talk about unrequited love because sometimes it’s not pretty. It tarnishes the vision people have of love being perfect. The reality of it is, unrequited love is love. It exists and it is valid. One-sided love can kill you but then it will bring you back to life.
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