The Universe gives you clear signs on how to navigate your life sometimes, not all the time though, sometimes you may be lost and stuck. I believe that everyone in your life has an expiration date but it’s not always clear when it’s time to let someone go.
“Everyone is not meant to be in your life forever. The key is to know when it’s time to cut them off because you know the most hate you get is from your inner circle, where the support is supposed to come from and you have to be mindful of that and go you know as I’m making this step to the next level it’s not that I changed it’s that you not ready to go with me to this next level. You holding me back so your time is up and I appreciated the time we had but now I got to move on…” “It’s definitely a hard thing to do but it’s necessary to detox your life at different phases of your journey.” – Lala Anthony
I distanced myself from a lot of people and lost complete friendships with about two people in the past couple of months and I don’t regret it or anything. So I had this group of friends and it was really nice at first but then I started to feel like the majority of them weren’t there for me as much as I was for them, I addressed how I felt a few times too and it never got fixed… so slowly but surely I started to drift away from them until it was like we were never close friends. It’s a little frustrating when you distance yourself from people, people that you did by and tried to do a lot for, and for them to never hit you up saying I miss you or I love you — it stops bothering you as much but it still sits in the back of my head sometimes.
You can’t keep people in your life just so you won’t be lonely. I have a hard time considering people my friend and letting people get close to me because when I mess with somebody I mess with them heavy and I expect that in return, if I feel like I’m not getting as much support as you can give and it’s not genuine I’m gonna feel some type of way. My thing is if you have to question how much or if someone is really down for you then why are they in my life? It’s not even about trust issues it’s just known that people aren’t really solid. If you have trust issues (or even if you don’t) a lot of it is about looking at actions or lack thereof rather than hearing their words.
For the past couple of years I had the hardest time comprehending that not everyone is supposed to stay in your life but at the same time know that everyone that comes into your life is meant to. In the past when I would start to realize that someone is bringing a lot negativity to my life I would find excuses to keep them in my life because I loved them and I knew they cared for me, they just didn’t know how to in a better way. It was to the point where I allowed myself to be heartbroken a couple times by two people I cared so immensely for, they’re the only people that have broken my heart besides family and they both did it more than once. Honestly something should have clicked when I realized all my heartbreaks were from platonic relationships and not from romantic relationships.
A good thing to take note of when dealing with friends and what not is to pay attention to your energy. “Pay attention to whom your energy increases and decreases around, because that’s the universe giving you a hint of who you should embrace or stray from.” If you feel left out, sad, lonely, angry or just unhappy period when around people you are close to or consider your friend then you may need to reconsider that relationship.
If it feels like someone just has a lot of negative things to say to you then you need stay away from them and definitely keep more things to yourself. If you find yourself telling someone about an achievement/accomplishment and they don’t have a genuine positive remark, watch them. Watch out for those friends that are always “cracking jokes”, especially jokes at your own expense — if they always have something “funny” to say then consider them to be moving funny, simple.
None of this is to say cut off all your friends, drop anyone that you ever had an argument with, or who differs from you in certain ways but it is to say pay attention to who you’re getting close with because sometimes your worst enemies are the people close to you. If you do feel the need to distance yourself from people because it doesn’t feel real you can love them from a distance, you can still text them if you want to go out or if you want to laugh and you can still be a shoulder to cry on. It’s about balance at the end of the day, you need to look at for you first and foremost. You want friends that will clap for you the way you clap for them. “You have to learn when to get up from the table when love is no longer being served” – Nina Simone
Be a friend to yourself and love yourself to teach others how to to care for you and love you. Pray for them when you pray for yourself.
